Most fetishes begin at an early age, and often involve sports.
Good question, and the answer is that everyone wears short shorts. Unfortunately not everyone looks good in short shorts. Some people don’t even wear them in public.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to rock out this summer in the sexiest shorts shorts around. Actually they’re Satin Micro Hotpants and they come in 12 colors.
If you’re not the type to rock out, there are many other ways to show off your fabulous legs and butt.
Take leisurely morning walks on the local trails. Bake some cookies and share them with your neighbors. Enjoy a stroll on the beach after work and pick up plenty of seashells. Or if you’re the shy type, relax at home and paint your toenails on your front porch.
Now there is a slight chance, a chance as slim as an anorexic high school cheerleader, that you feel you don’t have the body for Satin Micro Hotpants. This is your opportunity to get that body. Its all about motivation.
Once you have a couple of pairs of these beauties sitting in your drawer, you may just pass on that 4th slice of pizza. Maybe that second six pack of tall boys can stay in the fridge for another day. You might even find yourself saying to your wife: “What I’d really like is a small salad with fat free dressing.”
Of course she’ll be shocked, but she will also be very impressed with your new found dedication.
Tip: once you begin strutting your stuff around town you’re going to get a lot of attention. You need to learn a very important phrase and use it as needed.
Put your hands on your hips, stick that delicious butt out, and say this: “What the Fuck are you lookin at?”
Always play hard to get.
Back pain is so common that it affects up to 90% of people at some point in their lifetime. Now, if you are among the 10% that have never experienced this consider yourself very lucky.
There are many causes of back pain and much of it can be blamed on our lifestyle. Most of you sit all day at work, then sit some more on the drive home, then sit down to dinner, then sit on the couch and watch TV.
In the caveman days you were out hunting, fighting giant dinosaurs and clubbing women over the head so you were much more fit. But now the dinosaurs are gone, many women frown of being clubbed, and if you do hunt you probably sit in a tree stand and watch Ted Nugent on a portable TV while waiting for poor Bambi to become your next meal.
What to do, what to do? I don’t know if you’re aware of it, but they make special garments to improve your posture and help relieve back pain. You’ll walk taller, feel better, and your friends will wonder why you seem like a new person.
What do these special garments look like Miss Teresa? Are they soft and silky? Can I wear them under my normal clothes without everyone knowing? Do they come in different colors to match my work shirts?
Oh yes. They’re made of soft satin, they come in 15 different colors, and will not only improve your posture but your whole outlook on life.
Tip: if anyone asks, this is not a corset. It’s a special garment to help a medical condition. The fact that its gorgeous, made in shiny, soft satin, and trimmed in lace is just because women make them and they want you to feel as pretty as they do.