What about ordering online and having it shipped to your house or apartment? I know, you’re worried about your neighbors or your beautiful mail carrier Suzie asking you questions. That’s your first mistake, because maybe she likes to dress boys up as girls, but you’ll never know because you’re frightened.

The answer is easier than you think. The Post Office. You can get a Post Office box with no hassle at all and have things shipped there. The bill isn’t even sent to your house because they just leave it in the box when its time to renew. Piece of cake.

Now for those of you unfamiliar with the whole thing, you want to get the smallest box you can. I know what you’re thinking; How will a package fit in that tiny box, there’s barely room for a few letters?

This is how it works. Your unmarked package is sent to the Post Office. Then they simply put a small card in your box telling you that its arrived. All you have to do now is show the teller your card and they hand you your package. They don’t have time to ask you what’s in there or really care.

Lets say you want to order a whole bunch of stuff. Panties, slips, stockings, breast forms, a wig, and an adorable dress. Is that going to be a problem when you go to pick everything up? Not at all, stop being such a scaredy cat. They’ll ask one of their helpers to get a hand truck and help bring everything right to your car. She might even become your new friend.

In this case its Sandy from UPS. She’s on her way out and offers to give you a hand. Awesome right? Now Sandy isn’t your average girl, she’s not only gorgeous but has all kinds of kinky ideas.

Once she’s finished helping you pack your trunk with your goodies, she might even ask what you bought. Whether you tell her is up to you. You can make something up and possibly miss yet another chance, or you can casually mention one of the things you got.

Casually, as in: “Well Sandy, I bought 3 pairs of Naughty Satin Panties with a rear hole.”

“Cool!, she says with a smile. You mean like for anal sex with your panties on?”

Tip: try not to faint at this point, just make sure you get her phone number.

Naughty Satin Panties: $38.

Having Sandy help you explore your true potential: Priceless.

Interestingly enough, that way was to feminize you and make you one of them. Oh yes. Maybe they catch you dressing up at home one day, or your sister happened to mention to them that you’ve been wearing her panties for a long time. Well you know how mean girls can be, and they want to tell the whole school about your little hobby.

But you don’t want that do you? All of your friends, and even the teachers would know that you secretly want to be a girl. That would be very bad. So they give you a choice: be a good girl and let them dress you up or they’ll tell the whole world that you’re just a little sissy.

They teach you all about makeup, how to walk in heels, and even about boys. You are embarrassed, humiliated, and popping out of your silky lace panties praying that it never ends.

Its a lot to think about isn’t it? Think about it in this Olivia Satin School Girl dress from Feminize Me.

Panties and blouse not included. Let the girls pick them out for you. Oh the places you’ll go…

Tazziana Satin French Maid

OK fine, but technology has cum a long way since that book was written back in 1969. Now we have state of the art masturbators that do everything except kiss you goodnight. This one is about as state of the art as I’ve ever seen and will please both the Zen master and the techie. Its called The Tenga 3D.

It looks kinda like a flower and it feels so much better than a dirty sock. Description: The Tenga 3D male masturbator is a Japanese penis sleeve that provides an incredibly original experience in masturbation: 3D!
Well, what does that mean to me and my favorite sock puppet you may ask? It means that there are 4 different styles of Tenga 3D masturbation sleeves to choose from.

The Zen design for when you’re finished chopping wood and carrying water.

The Spiral is for those afternoons when you really feel twisted.

The Polygon for when you finish balancing your checking account. (It never comes out right does it?)

And finally The Module, which is for after you solve the Rubik’s cube or just throw it out the window like 99% of the world.

Interesting, but what does it cost? Socks are free and this baby must cost thousands. So wrong my little puppet masturbator. The Tenga 3D comes with a packet of Tenga brand lube and a carrying case and is less than $50. Not a lot less but a penny saved is a penny you can put towards porn. Perhaps a 6 MP3 set of Forced Feminization audio erotica that’s on sale?

Tenga-Tenga-Tenga!

When I was a little girl and was feeling sad my Mother would tell me stories. Not just book stories, she would make up all kinds of adventures about girls doing everything from flying to going to the moon. I couldn’t help but feel better and I would daydream about them afterwards and forget whatever was bothering me at the time. This is exactly what you need.

Do you like stories? Do you think that if I told you a story or two it would make you forget about the tight sweater, the cloudy, cold days, and your balls falling off into a pile of frozen sand? I’ll bet it would.

I just happen to be having a Winter Sale to beat all winter sales on 6 full length MP3′s.

The first one is about a costume party. I dress you up and take you to the beauty salon, then tell everyone that there really is no costume party, and there’s a great surprise ending that I’ll bet you didn’t see coming.

In the next story you’re the only male employee in an all female office, and your boss has caught you stealing panties from your co-workers. To avoid being fired you agree to enroll in Miss Teresa’s Beauty School, to be transformed into a beautiful and obedient sissy. You will beg me to show you everything, and I will. We even dance while I sing softly into your ear.

Story number 3 is called Dressing for Pleasure, and its about learning to look, feel and orgasm like a beautiful, sexy woman. I think you’ll really like that one.

The next 3 are feminization hypnosis MP3′s that you can listen to lying in your nice warm bed and simply relax, while the suggestions are pushed deeper and deeper into your subconscious mind. How cool is that?

All together there are over 4 full hours of stories and suggestions to help you forget about whatever might be troubling you and let you dream all your cares away. Until the summer comes that is, when you can put on that itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini and strut your stuff in the soft warm sand without anything falling off.

Now the normal price for theses 6 MP3′s is $140, but I’d really rather see you spend that money elsewhere. Work on those legs at the gym, trim down that tummy, and when you’re ready buy that beautiful yellow bikini to wow everyone in town.

The winter sale price for all of this is just $49.00. Butt wait-if you use the coupon code LIPSTICK you’ll save another 10%, which you can put towards a pretty beach wrap when you get tired of all the guys staring and whistling.

So the total price for all of this is now only $44.10. Not only do you get over 4 hours of listening pleasure, but you get peace of mind, a much needed break from the stress of everyday life, and the stuff of dreams.

Forget your troubles come on get happy, you better chase all your cares away. Shout hallelujah come on get happy, get ready for the judgment day.

Ooops, that can be depressing, sorry.

Holiday Special 6 MP3 Set

Sookie Sissy Dress

Of course at some point you will need to shave, wear silky, lacy panties every single day, as well as stockings, high heels, a wig and full makeup. This can seem overwhelming to the beginning sissy maid, but fear not, I will help you.

As I mentioned earlier, its all about your attitude.

“Oh yes Miss Teresa, but how do I develop the proper attitude?” you whine.

God question, easy answer. Put on your panties and the dress.

“Yes, but then what? Isn’t a French maid uniform very expensive? Is there a way to prevent the inevitable stains from showing? I’m not very good at cooking a roast, will I have to cook a roast? And, and, and….”

You see, this is not the right attitude but I will answer the most important questions. A French Maid uniform does not have to be expensive, it just has to be very short and very cute. Cheeky if you will.

Lets say that through careful research you find a Cheeky French Maid uniform in exactly your size for less than $50. You discover that it comes in 8 different colors including Deep Purple, but unless your Mistress is a fan of Smoke on the water I suggest black, pink or white. “White?” you think to yourself, “I bet the stains would hardly even show” and you would be correct.

What about cooking a large roast? Listen, you’ll be so tied up (possibly literally) doing other chores I’m sure that won’t be a problem.

Now about your attitude. Once you get the balls to finally shave those long pretty legs of yours, slowly slip on the matching panties and look in the mirror. Next, you take your new Cheeky French maid uniform off the padded hanger and lay it on the bed. Pretty isn’t it?

Run your hands over the satin and lace, look at the adorable puff sleeves, the stretchy waist, and the sexy matching pinafore. Its yours sweetheart, its all yours.

Take a deep breath and put it on. Feel the cool satin as it glides over your panties. Play with the little front tie until you get it just right. Adjust the sleeves and your apron. Good girl. Now tiptoe over to the full length mirror and take a look at yourself.

Oh yes, yes, yes! You feel fantastic and the dress fits perfectly. Your Mistress is going to be very impressed and give you all kinds of special treats.

You’ll be entertaining all her friends. They’ll want to dress you up in different outfits and have you model for them. You’ll get frequent spankings, and other humiliating forms of punishment. The girls will pull your panties down because you’ve been a very naughty girl, you asked too many questions.

“A roast, do you believe that girls? Our little sissy wants to know if she has to cook a fucking roast! Get my strap-on, get the lube, hold her girls.”

You feel it slip inside you easily, as if its the most natural thing in the world. She pushes harder, its big, bigger than you thought. You begin moaning with pleasure, whispering the words softly at first, then louder as it goes in all the way and she starts to pump it in and out.

“Fuck me-Fuck me-Fuck me….”

OH-OH, you feel the pressure building and there’s no way to stop it. Youre going to cum and they realize that. Pulling out the strap-on Mistress slaps you hard on your ass and tells you to pull your panties all the way up, fast!

As you shudder and try to cover yourself,  you shoot hard into those panties as the girls watch and laugh.

Fortunately your dress is a creamy white thanks to proper planning. You go back to work in your wet panties with a smile, and a feeling of perfect contentment.

You did buy the white dress right?

Cheeky French Maid Uniform

The thing about borrowing someone else’s clothes is that their taste might not match yours. Maybe she didn’t have smooth, satin, lacy, silky, feminine panties in pretty colors. Maybe she just had comfortable cotton briefs, all in white. YEECH! I can’t even imagine that and I’m getting chills just thinking about it.

Now that you’re all growed up though you no longer have to borrow panties. You can buy the most feminine panties you want, in every color under the rainbow and just sit pretty. So tell me, what exactly would you really like in a pair of satin panties?

I’ll tell you what you’d really like, you’d like the Wow factor and here it is.

These are Tushy Frilly Panties, even the name makes you think hard about them. The front is smooth, soft satin with an adorable ribbon right in the middle. Butt wait, there’s more…

Ta-Da! The rear of these little beauties are covered in gorgeous deep ruffles, a little reminder that you’re wearing something special.

What about jingly bells, or a panty lock, a higher waist, or a rear hole? Those are all options and they come in 7 colors and in just your size.

I’m sure you already have piles and piles of panties already, a peck of panties if you will. But do you have a special pair that makes you say wow every time you get out of the bath and slip them on?

This, my good woman, is the Wow factor.

Note: If you haven’t already figured it out, Darrell Sheets wears pink satin panties when he goes to auctions. He feels it gives him an edge.

HIM: No, my real name is Tony and I’m an accountant.

ME: Alright Sir. You’ve told that me you’ve been crossdressing for most of your life, you must have a fantastic collection of lingerie, dresses, blouses, skirts, and heels.

HIM: No, I don’t. Actually I haven’t dressed up in over 10 years.

ME: Oh, and why is that Tony?

HIM: Well, I used to drink and I think a large part of the reason is the anxiety and guilt I have about this. I mean, I loved dressing up but it caused me so much stress that I eventually stopped. I used to buy things and throw them out, then do the same thing a couple of weeks later.

ME: That’s a shame, you know you could have packed them up and dropped them into a Red Cross box or something.

HIM: I guess so, but I was so nervous just bringing them to the dumpster that I was a complete wreck. I never would have thought of donating them.

ME: I understand, I really do. So do you still have crossdressing fantasies?

HIM: Oh yes, I think about it all the time. For example, yesterday I saw a picture of Carey Mulligan in the New York Post wearing a gorgeous white cotton bra. I thought about that all day long.

ME: I saw that too! Is this the picture?

HIM: Oh that’s it alright. As soon as I saw that I made up a complete fantasy scene in my head. The girls are dressing me up, and they hand me this bra. Then they say: “Isn’t this a pretty bra Melissa? You don’t have breasts yet but you will soon. Here, let me help you put it on.” Oh my God I’m getting excited all over again just thinking about it. This is a little embarrassing Teresa.

ME: Its OK, I’m sure a lot of people got excited by that bra. I even read the article to see if I could find out who makes it. The thing is though that a push up bra might not be the best choice for you, if you were to buy a bra which I guess you won’t.

HIM: I’d like to but it just feels so wrong. When I used to dress up it felt amazing, unlike almost anything I’ve ever felt, but afterwards I felt like a fool. I was ashamed, I felt guilty, and I kind of hated myself.

ME: I see. How often do you masturbate about these fantasies?

HIM: I guess every day, sometimes twice a day. I live alone so I have a lot of privacy. Its pretty much my whole sex life.

ME: So let me get this straight, you constantly fantasize about crossdressing, masturbate about it frequently, but don’t want to actually dress up anymore because it makes you nervous. Is that right?

HIM: Yes, that’s exactly right.

ME: Well I guess the interview is over.

HIM: But wait a minute, don’t you have any advice or magic words that will make it alright?

ME: No I don’t. You told me you’re 44 years old, I guess if you haven’t found a way to deal with this by now you’re never going to.

HIM: I kind of lied about that, I’m 61. I want to feel OK about it but I’m afraid of what other people might think, I always have been.

ME: Alright, you want some advice? You may have 20 years left, maybe more maybe less. So far this fear of what people might think hasn’t worked out too well has it? You might want to consider a different plan.

HIM: Can I call you once in a while and talk about it, kind of get reassurance?

ME: No. You’re a big boy or girl, whichever you choose to be. I’m not trying to be mean but life is about making choices, and sometimes the choices are very hard. (no pun intended)

HIM: I know, and thank you. Lets just say I did want a bra, what kind would you recommend?

ME: Now you’re talkin Melissa! I would suggest a Whispy Bra. Its all satin and lace and it has adorable little bows. You could even get it in white like the push up bra in the picture, but this will fit you better since you don’t have breasts.

HIM: Tell me a story Teresa, tell me how you’d slip my arms through and adjust the straps. Tell me what you’d do to me next.

ME: Listen Miss Pindick, you’ll put your bra on and like it. Sit there like a good girl while we do your hair and makeup. How was that?

HIM: Fantastic! But I don’t think I have enough hair left to do much with. What kind of wig do you think would look good on me? I like curls, always have.

ME: Good girl Melissa, such a good girl.