90% of Men Wear the Wrong Nightgown

You come home from another long day at the dynamite factory, and all you want to do is relax. So you drink a dozen shots of Kentucky Bourbon, choke down a 72 ounce steak, and settle in with the latest hairstyle magazine.

Eventually you decide to go to bed, but you’re a little worried because lately you’ve been having trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep. It could very well be that you’re wearing the wrong nightgown.

Studies show that a staggering 9 out of every 10 men wear the wrong nightgown. Since the average person spends almost a third of their lives in bed, insomnia is not only a complete waste of time but it can be dangerous, especially if you make dynamite.

Find the nightie that’s right for you, get a few dozen pairs of matching panties and rest easy. Your life may depend on it. If you need some help lingerie shopping I have a recording just for you.

Lingerie Shopping Made Easy

Nightgowns for men

Nightgowns for men

I’d rather be with an animal-What is the Law?

Now I know what you’re thinking: The law is not to go on all fours, like in that crazy movie Island of Lost Souls right? Maybe so, but not in this case.

Ohio is one of a dozen U.S. states that does not have a law banning bestiality yet. But the Ohio state Senate has unanimously approved a bill which will prohibit a person from engaging in sexual conduct with an animal.

State Senator Jim Hughes in an interview with a TV station said: “I think this is something that is sickening and perverse, and we don’t want Ohio to be the place you can come and have sex with an animal.”

Well said Jim. Just because you dress them up does not mean you can take them anywhere. Don’t quote me on that.

I'd rather be with an animal

I’d rather be with an animal

Leggy Lamb illustration by Rokku-D on DeviantArt

Teach Me

Like a lot of people I have a teacher fantasy. I would call the teacher Teach whether they liked it or not. And when I’m bad I would have to be spanked, because sometimes I’m a bad girl and need to be punished.

Thanks to the miracle of the internet I found a video that really tickles my keys. Its not for everyone and it gets a little rough, but you might want to take a look.

As a wise man once said: “If you want it you’re gonna bleed but it’s the price you pay.” Yes Teach.

Teach Me Video

Teach Me

Teach Me

Lonesome Dreams

Description: This olive, suede skirt is perfect for fall weather and features a faux button down front. The Lonesome Dreams Skirt zips and hooks in back and features two front pockets. Simply Henley Bodysuit, Spoke Boots, and choker necklace sold separately.

When you wear this skirt be prepared for anything, because who knows what dreams may come. Tip: you can bear the whips and scorns of time much better if you carry mace in your purse.

Lonesome Dreams Skirt For Elyse

Lonesome Dreams Skirt For Elyse

Lonesome Dreams Skirt For Elyse

They Might be Giants

They might be giants but they are also alpacas. These cartoon like animals are raised for their wool, which is used in all kinds of things including sweaters. If you ever see an alpaca farm stop in and visit. They hardly ever spit a ball of wet, chewed up grass at you. Don’t ask me how I know.

At the alpaca farm 11/28/16

At the alpaca farm 11/28/16

Living a Life of Illusion

You, like many people, are probably living a life of illusion. But do you actually use your illusion? You can when you wear this gorgeous illusion neckline dress.

While this is marketed as a wedding dress, you can wear it shopping, bowling, target shooting, golfing, or to a thousand other places. Keep in mind that even though this dress has an illusion neckline, people will still be able to see you.

Illusion Neckline Dress

Illusion Neckline Dress

Illusion Neckline Dress

In Her Panty Drawer

I was on one of my favorite websites yesterday looking at their new lingerie collection, when I noticed a buying guide for men. They had some tips that could conceivably get you into trouble, but maybe its just me.

Tip 1: What size is she? The best way to find out is to look in her lingerie drawer, and see what size she has the most of.

Tip 2: What style bra does she like? Once you figure this out, find out if she wears a brief, shortie or perhaps a thong.

Tip 3: Choose colors she’ll love. Have a look in her drawer again.

Of course it would be easier and more exciting to try on a few of her things and see how they feel. Just don’t get caught.

Pretty and witty and...

Pretty and witty and…

Possible Panty Thieves Wanted in Victoria’s Secret Robbery

Two men wearing false eyelashes, long red nails, and women’s yoga pants stole from a Victoria’s Secret in Spartanburg, South Carolina.

Suspects have been described as athletic, well dressed and very cute. They were last seen at a local gym posing in front of the mirror and driving the other men crazy. Police promise that the perpetrators will be properly punished.

At large

At large

It began with a bra

Last fall I wrote about an adorable nightdress from Indian lingerie retailer Zivame. Their mission statement is this: “It began with a bra. With a dream to go beyond. Beyond limited choices. Beyond everything women were used to. Beyond just lingerie.”

You may be one of the 85% of people in the world wearing the wrong bra, but it’s hard to wear the wrong babydoll. Take a look.

Zivame Off Shoulder Babydoll

Zivame Off Shoulder Babydoll

Zivame Off Shoulder Babydoll

Men’s Health and Fitness-Walk the Walk

Walking is one of the best ways to exercise, but what to wear? You really can’t go wrong with a light pink adult tutu.

Do they really make such a thing you might ask? Yes they do. These handmade tutus are tulle and ribbon and start at $45. The 15 inch is great for prancing and short trips, while the 33 inch is better for power walking and cardio workouts.

Tip: wear sensible shoes.

Light Pink Adult Tutu Etsy

Light Pink Adult Tutu

Light Pink Adult Tutu

Business Partner Wanted

I stopped on the way home this afternoon to check out some horses (I do that) and saw that they were wearing a feed bag. So it suddenly dawned on me, why not create a line of feed bags for people?

I see a huge potential for this in schools and restaurants, especially those all you can eat buffets. Thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of dollars could be saved not having to wash plates, bowls and silverware.

If you look at the photo you can see that the bag is fairly dirty, I guess horses don’t care. I want to design a disposable feed bag liner and mass produce the whole thing as the Teresa Bowers PFB.

Business partners must have a working knowledge of straps, feed and bags, and be willing to model this on Shark Tank. If you own a large factory that would be a plus.

Update: It has been brought to my attention that this horse is not wearing a feed bag but a grazing muzzle to limit his snack intake. The possibilities for a people friendly version are almost endless.

Of Course, of Course

Of Course, of Course

I Love, I Love my little Calendar Dude

I think I’ll get a 2017 NYC Taxi Drivers Calendar for my guest room. It features 12 of the city’s most dashing cabbies in smoldering looks and scandalous poses.

Now if only they would come when you call them.

The NYC Taxi Drivers Calendar

My little Calendar Dude

My little Calendar Dude

Fall Fashion for Men that Dress like Women

Pinterest is a great place to go for fashion, makeup and clothing inspiration. Here is the beautiful Linda Zoe demonstrating fashion staples that never go out of style. Huge breasts, a very sexy blouse, black stockings, a short skirt, bright red lipstick, long nails, a wig, jewellery, and cute high heels. He has also mastered the classic couch pose and is sitting pretty.

The pretty boys of Pinterest

Linda Zoe

Linda Zoe

What, another book?

Well that’s what I thought when I heard about The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. But he talks about the voices in your head in a very interesting way.

For example he writes: “It’s actually a shocking realization when you first notice that your mind is constantly talking. You might even try to yell at it in a feeble attempt to shut it up. But then you realize that’s the voice yelling at the voice:”

Right, so I took my voices to Barnes and Noble and the conversation went like this:

“What, another book? Let’s just take a look, Miley Cyrus recommends it and we need something to read. We, whaddya mean we? Oh look, the new Road Runner magazine is here-hmmm, riding horse county, that sounds interesting. Horses kick you in the head and kill you, forget it. DON’T BE A PUSSY!

I’m not a pussy. Are! Not. ARE! Not.”

We bought the book and the magazine, and we’re trying to figure out the part about the voice yelling at the voice. Sounds a bit far fetched.

Review 11/16: No book can change you until you’re ready to be changed. And as Auden once said; we would rather be ruined than changed. Dammit…

The Untethered Soul

The Untethered Soul

The Pleasures of the Damned

We took a few pictures of people taking pictures at the Conowingo Dam this morning (it seemed like a good idea at the time). There are plenty of bald eagles for those equipped with the right stuff, meaning thousands and thousands of dollars worth of camera, tripod, and lens. Note: if you get there after 9:00 on a weekend don’t expect to find a parking spot.

The Pleasures of the Damned

The Pleasures of the Damned

Body Dysmorphic Disorder Documentary

I watched a fascinating documentary tonight about body dysmorphic disorder. It seems that a basement accident horribly disfigures a young man though he is physically alright.

Towards the end of the film the man transitions into a woman, but that doesn’t really solve anything. “It’s just like your first haircut” he is told as he resorts to desperate measures in an attempt to get back to what he thinks is normal.

This is the story of how his family coped with the aftermath. It’s a story of courage and bravery, and it will make you question everything you thought about beauty. Fortunately someone uploaded it to YouTube earlier this year. Let’s go to the video:

Just Another Pretty Face-Video

Deer Fear and Life on the Farm

Everyone has fears but not everyone’s fears are the same. One of my fears is of deer. Yes, those adorable woodland creatures with the big, beautiful eyes. But when they run across the road in front of you at 75 mph it’s not so beautiful.

So the other day we went to a deer farm to get to know them and learn their ways. I didn’t ask and didn’t want to know why they were on this farm, but I have a feeling that some of these girls are going to end up on a plate.

I realized after a while that wild deer aren’t trying to commit suicide by jumping in front of motorcycles and cars, they’re just trying to live their lives and have fun like everyone else.

Note to self: never tell the others about the farm.

Click here too see larger

At the Deer Farm 11/8/16

At the Deer Farm 11/8/16

Special Requests-Transvestites In Trouble

I’m getting a lot of suggestions for new audio stories and a surprising number of them are about prostitution. Sure, a lot of guys are powdered, perfumed, primped, and pimped, but their hours are long and working conditions are terrible.

I sometimes miss the old days, when men were men and a simple caught in panties fantasy was enough. Blame the internet.

Note: Smoking’s bad m’kay?

Trouble, trouble, trouble

Trouble, trouble, trouble

Sissy Audio-Special Requests

I am recording again and will be adding to my Podcast very soon. If you have suggestions or special requests leave a comment below.

Sissy stories will be considered but must be less than 1000 words. A good example is Saragirl’s Sissy Confession (see my story page or Podcast). Do not send me anything without discussing it first, there are only 24 little hours in a day.

Topics can include forced feminization, sissy humiliation, transvestite bondage, sissy maids, or all of the above. But absolutely no more cheerleader fantasies, too many torn ligaments.

Cheers

Cheers

A Portrait of a Crossdressing Caption Artist-The Sublime and the Ridiculous

Me: So how did you get into making crossdressing captions Arthur?

Art: Good question. I retired several years ago, and nothing I did was really satisfying. Sure, I have motorcycles, race cars and other hobbies, but I felt stressed out most of the time. One day I was coming home from a long ride, passed a little beauty salon in the middle of nowhere, and for some reason started thinking about forced feminization. That night I made my first caption. After that it became what I feel is a very creative outlet and an excellent stress reliever. What do you think?

Me: Well to be honest I think it’s a bit silly, if not completely ridiculous. What are your other hobbies?

Art: I take pictures of old cameras in the woods. Sometimes I’ll ride a hundred miles to find the right place and set everything up, then take thousands of photos. They are my interpretation of the sublime aspects of reality.

Me: Interesting. So what, in your opinion, is reality Arthur?

Art: It’s a bitch Teresa.

Me: Agreed.

The Sublime and the Ridiculous

The Sublime and the Ridiculous