There has been a lot of talk about therapy lately for everything from losing weight, establishing better relationships, to gender identity and sexual confusion. Maybe because I majored in psychology I feel that its overrated. The reasons why we do certain things and behave in certain ways does not always help us change. Nobody really wants to change unless they have to, (in my opinion) and they don’t always have to. Look at the alcoholic or addict to realize just how true this is.
As for figuring out why we have a preference or fetish it seems to be a long shot at best. For example, the young man with a desire to wear frilly lingerie while being spanked by a chef. Is this because of a long standing, unresolved conflict? Is it because as a child he was taken shopping with his mother, who would give him a cookie when he pointed out a tasteful outfit and spanked when he put panties on his head in the lingerie department? Or is it that his favorite chef is a gorgeous babe with a great pair of tits and he just likes to be spanked? And more important-does it matter?
I have found that the most intelligent, creative people are usually the most neurotic. And they know exactly why they do things and do them anyway, while the average Mr. and Mrs. normal are often oblivious to reality and happier because of it. I think that it is vital to know and more important to love and accept yourself and any effort towards that goal is commendable. But as for finding reasons for everything and looking for an answer that will save us I would recommend that you simply do whatever it is your most afraid of and get on with it.
Yes, many people have had real traumas that have made their lives hell and I would never dissuade them from seeking help. But for the average masochist, panty fiend, or toe sucker I say pay off the shrink and buy yourself a nice dinner.