B: I really, really want to order your Beauty School CD Miss Teresa, but I cant risk having it sent to my house! I am so afraid of my wife finding out! I only go to your website when she’s not home, and then I clear all the history! Now she’s been asking me why I’m doing this! I have to have it-its my complete fantasy! What can I do?
: GET A GRIP! What are ya, a sissy? Oh yea. How old are ya kid?
B: I’ll be 47 next month.
: Listen kid, I have a plan. Now shut up and pay attention. First of all its a download, not an actual CD that would be sent to your house. I send it to your email, see?
B: Oh, I didn’t realize that. But my wife!
Now the first thing ya wanna do is download Firefox. You can have it clear your history every time you sign off, it even asks ya?
Now you’re gonna get an email in another name see? They’re all free, just pick a name and remember it. If ya want, ya can write the name and password in a book that nobody reads, get it?
B: Yes Miss Teresa.
: You can use a credit card, or if you’re still yeller, an e-check. No traces. Then I send the file to this email that nobody knows about, see?
B: Wow you’re really good at this.
: Yea, I been around.
B: But what about downloading and saving the file? How can I hide it?
: Here’s what you’re gonna do. Ya download it when no ones around, and save it in a folder. Ya name the folder like another one, but add a letter. Then you put that folder in a different folder that never gets used, see?
B: But what if she finds it and listens?
: Ok, lets play it safe. Ya burn it onto a blank CD and stash it somewhere. Drive out to the dessert, get comfy and play it in your car.
B: Not bad, you’re very sneaky.
: Thanks kid, but I’m only helpin ya cause this stuff is harmless. So ya like to wear panties and prance around like Cinderella? Who gives a flyin rats ass?
B: My wife actually.
: YER A SISSY! Oh yea, that’s what this is about huh? Well, there ya go kid. Now ya can have a party in your pants. Play some pocket pool, adjust the antenna, baste the ham, badger the witness, buff the banana, cuff the carrot, flog the dolphin, milk the moose, oil the glove, rope the pony, yank the yo-yo, knock yourself out.
Just one more thing. Yer not gonna do anything illegal are ya? Anything strange or sick?
B: Oh Lord no Miss Teresa, I just want to wear pretty things and act like a beautiful girl.
: That’s what I figured. This conversation never took place, ya hear? Now go grow a pair.
B: Thank you Miss Teresa, but I don’t want to grow a pair because…
Disclaimer: I do not normally talk like this. I am in no way encouraging anyone to do anything illegal or immoral. Its just that in my experience many crossdressers do not want their friends and family discovering their little fetish. Right Mr. Madoff?