NOT a true story

A while back we decided to let a friend stay over until he found a new place. My girlfriend was worried about our privacy but I assured her that Johnny was OK, and he was at work almost all the time.

Johnny stayed in the spare room and we really only saw him late at night and on Sunday morning. He worked in a factory assembling lighting fixtures and put in as much overtime as possible. For two months it was so nice, Loh’ it was lovy-dovy (1).

One day I came home from shopping and Johnny was taking a bubble bath in the middle of the day. He said that the factory closed early for an inspection of some kind. We had a nice lunch together, which he made, and that was that.

Over the next few weeks we began to see Johnny more often. He explained that they were cutting back on overtime and he was just as happy to relax. Then things got strange.

Ashley was the first to notice the misplaced things in our closet and dresser. She is very organized and insists that all the hangers face the same way, so it was easy to see that some of our dresses had been removed and put back. She also noticed that several bras and panties were not folded right, and there was only one person to suspect. Johnny!

I was more disappointed than upset, but Ashley was totally freaking out. She wanted him gone as soon as possible.

Johnny and I had been friends since college, and I really wanted to continue to help him out. We had a brief talk and he denied everything. I just let it go and told Ashley that it was her call. Of course she had a plan.

We told Johnny we were going to the city for a show, would be staying at a hotel, and would be home in two days. What we actually did was spend the day with friends and came back around 6, about two hours after Johnny got off work. As it turned out Johnny took the day off, of course he had a plan.

Parking several houses away, we crept up to the house like burglars. Sneaking in through the back door and quietly up the stairs, we had a good idea what we would find.

There he was, looking pretty as a picture in my pink panties and baby doll, lying on the bed and grinning like the Cheshire cat!

I looked at Ashley to gauge her reaction and she also was smiling!

To make a long story short, (and because I have a dentist appointment in a few hours), Johnny stayed with us for another two months. Everything he wore was given to him on the condition that he would replaced them with brand new ones for us. He had amassed a sizable collection of blouses, skirts, dresses, and lingerie, and all three of us now had new clothes.

Since he still needed a place to stay, we made him an offer. He could move into the large walk in closet downstairs, or get out. Filled with all kinds of clothes we were never going to wear again, he was also offered to take whatever he wanted as long as he bought us brand new replacements.

Johnny went back to working overtime since he wanted everything in the closet except the shoes, which were too small. He bought a small fan and was quite happy living in there.

I guess strange is a relative term, and when it involves new clothes it doesn’t seem strange at all.

(1) George Thorogood

In the closet

In the closet

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