Crossdressing, Deer, and Monkey Mind

So you’re a cross dresser. You like to wear women’s clothes and have strange fantasies about being transformed into a girl. Fine. Its not that big of a deal, to me that is.

To you it may very well be a tragedy, a disaster, a burden you have to live with for the rest of your life. You might have all kinds of issues stemming from childhood and adolescence related to your fetish, and you let those thoughts drive you crazy.

For those well adjusted, proud, self confident cross dressers and transvestites my hat is off to you. Go shave your legs.

We all have unwanted thoughts that serve a single purpose, that is to drive us crazy.

Ever since I posted that stupid deer picture and caption a little voice has been appearing in my head when I’m in a wooded area. It repeats exactly what I said at the time: They jump in front of you at 60 mph and you both die.

Yes its based on fact, that deer do jump out at times and you have to be careful, but to be reminded of that in such a taunting, dramatic way is ridiculous. And its me doing it to myself!

Maybe you have similar thoughts related to your own situation. Not about deer of course, maybe about what a terrible person you are. How sick and twisted this fetish is, and how you hate yourself for it. We all know that we can be our own worst enemy and you might be much harder on yourself than that.

Is is wrong and sick to like to wear lingerie and want a women to dress you up? Obviously I don’t think so. But really, what is so bad about it? There are worse things to be, like a murderer. But you already know that.

Maybe your mind races while you’re home alone dressing up in your favorite blouse and poodle skirt. All kinds of strange thoughts may pop into your head.

The door! Someones at the door! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Its the police! There’s a warrant out for that ticket and they’ll take me to jail in my poodle skirt! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

There’s a fire! Oh-My-God! I won’t have time to change! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

What was that noise! A car door! Relatives! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

And so on until you’re a nervous wreck. Its called monkey mind by some as well as the ego and conscience. The most interesting part about this is that its us creating the whole show! We’re arguing with ourselves which is going to be a losing battle.

The other day I purposely took a road through an area heavily populated by deer. About halfway down that voice came into my head just to piss me off. They jump in front of you at 60 mph and you both die. It got to be so nerve racking that I had to pull over and take a few deep breaths. Eventually I started the bike back up and carefully finished my ride.

The only suggestion I have is to be aware of those voices. Once you remind yourself that its your monkey mind, and that these are just thoughts, you can put things into perspective. If we listen to everything that enters our mind my bike might be sitting in my garage gathering dust and your poodle skirt might end up on a poodle!




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