I got a new bag from Twisted Throttle and wanted to take some pictures for a review. I put together a collage and posted it on Twitpic, asking Cycle World and another magazine if they could use an independent reviewer.
It was really hot and humid today so when I got home around noon I took a nap.
I had a dream that they both said yes and started sending me free accessories to try and review. A $1000 top of the line helmet! A sexy Dainese, one piece, leather, motorcycle suit! Racing kits!
Then they began sending me new bikes to test. Cruisers, Dirt bikes, and a 180 MPH sportbike!
I took out the new sportbike and decided to push it to the limit. I was on the highway doing 100 and the road was clear. 120, 140, 150, 175 miles per hour! Out of the corner of my eye I saw something in the distance and started to slow down.
BOOM! A FUCKING DEER!
The bike smashed into it and exploded. I slid down the road in my thousand dollar helmet and one piece suit until I finally came to a stop in the middle of the right lane. I was OK.
BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM! An 18 wheeler came out of nowhere and rolled over my head.
I woke up in the hospital and thought I was alright, but then I realized my head was gone. I thought it was just dark, or the covers were pulled over me, but nope-no head.
Later on over a cup of iced coffee I decided that if they do make me an offer, I’ll stick to luggage, clothes, and toys. Thanks anyway, but if I have a bike that does 180 I’m sure as hell gonna do it.
“Sometimes a bag is just a bag.” Sigmund Freud