Its that time of year again, and there are an overwhelming number of new dresses and styles to help confuse you. Besides the fact that many of these are really terrible outfits, most will cost you a small fortune.
You have to ask yourself; “Will my friends at the bar care if I wear something from J.C.Penny or buy an original Christian Dior?” And even if they do, unless they help you pay for it just ignore them.
Here is my suggestion to help you be a part of Fashion Week, make a statement, and possibly get a contract with one of the major designers. (OK, that’s a long shot)
Its Friday afternoon and you’re on your way home. You consider stopping at the gym but its been a long week, and happy hour seems like a much better idea.
Your favorite gin mill is having a transvestite fashion show, as well as serving fresh pickled eggs and beer nuts, so its an easy decision.
“I wish I could get up there and walk the runway,” you say to yourself while stuck in traffic, then sigh.
But you can! This is where creativity and quick thinking come in handy. You have that tacky old shirt and cut off shorts in your gym bag. Go into your trunk, lift up the secret compartment and grab your panties, black pantyhose, heels, wig and makeup.
Now here is the key to making this work: Casually walk inside in your suit and tie, say hello, excuse yourself and go to the ladies room. There are no women there at this hour and there’s more room to get dressed.
Put on your panties and hose, the shorts and the shirt. You’ll use your glasses, tie and bag to make an ordinary outfit extraordinary. Now its time for your wig and makeup.
TAKE YOUR TIME.
You want to let your friends get a few drinks in them, and wait for the transvestites to begin strutting their stuff. (This may take a while so be patient, tweeze your eyebrows or something)
You finally hear the music and applause. Its Dude Looks Like A Lady-your favorite song!
The lights will be dimmed and all eyes will be on the cute tranny models, so this is your chance to sneak out of the ladies room without being noticed.
This is important. Making an entrance is vital to your success here.
Casually get in line with the other girls and look confident. If necessary, trip the model in front of you and hit her with your gym bag right before she goes on. This is standard practice for this kind of thing so don’t feel guilty.
Now go girl! Show em what you got! Fuck Christian Dior, Fuck that young slut in the wedding gown lying on the floor, she probably would have tripped anyway. This is your 15 minutes of fame, and if you can avoid getting arrested you’ll remember this forever.
So never judge a book by it’s cover, or who you’re going to love by your lover. Love put me wise to her love in disguise, she had the body of a Venus-Lord imagine my surprise…