Masturbating into your socks

That may sound funny to some of you, I know it did to me, but a friend recently told me he’s been doing just that for years. He read about it in Portnoy’s Complaint a long time ago and thought it was a great idea. Two socks, one for that night and one to smooth the morning wood.

OK fine, but technology has cum a long way since that book was written back in 1969. Now we have state of the art masturbators that do everything except kiss you goodnight. This one is about as state of the art as I’ve ever seen and will please both the Zen master and the techie. Its called The Tenga 3D.

It looks kinda like a flower and it feels so much better than a dirty sock. Description: The Tenga 3D male masturbator is a Japanese penis sleeve that provides an incredibly original experience in masturbation: 3D!
Well, what does that mean to me and my favorite sock puppet you may ask? It means that there are 4 different styles of Tenga 3D masturbation sleeves to choose from.

The Zen design for when you’re finished chopping wood and carrying water.

The Spiral is for those afternoons when you really feel twisted.

The Polygon for when you finish balancing your checking account. (It never comes out right does it?)

And finally The Module, which is for after you solve the Rubik’s cube or just throw it out the window like 99% of the world.

Interesting, but what does it cost? Socks are free and this baby must cost thousands. So wrong my little puppet masturbator. The Tenga 3D comes with a packet of Tenga brand lube and a carrying case and is less than $50. Not a lot less but a penny saved is a penny you can put towards porn. Perhaps a 6 MP3 set of Forced Feminization audio erotica that’s on sale?

Tenga-Tenga-Tenga!

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