Spring Ahead

Spring is officially here today. Although its been an insanely mild winter, now is the time to think about warm weather outfits.

You’ve been dressing up all winter in long dresses, cute fuzzy sweaters, stockings and tight slacks. But as the seasons change you need to change too. At least your clothing choices.

Lets say that on your next day off you go to clean out the shed, or work in the garden, and you notice that its freakin hot! Grabbing a can of diet Coke you sit in the shade and ponder this situation.

Suddenly it occurs to you, it becomes as clear as the sky that you’re wearing too many layers. I’ve found the same thing riding my bike although with the wind chill I can still be comfortable wearing jeans, boots, a warm top and a jacket. Then I go into Dunkin Donuts for a cup of iced coffee and everyone is looking at me like I’m crazy. People are wearing shorts and T-shirts with sandals or even flip flops.

I’ll tell you something, the next person that asks me if I’m hot, even though they see I’m riding a motorcycle I’m going to punch them in the face. I’ve though of several witty things to say but I just get so pissed off at their stupidity I freak out. The truth is that covering your body even in the heat helps you stay cool, ask a Nomad.

Now even if you’re riding your motorcycle you want to wear something light underneath. And if you’re working in the yard you not only want to be comfortable but pretty. If you’re like a lot of guys you may even stop shaving your legs and painting your toenails, its OK.

You can wear your panties, jeans or shorts, and even sneakers, but you need a great top. The neighborhood women look to you for ideas, because they know you have such a great sense of fashion. Don’t let them down this year.

Lets say its a beautiful day and you decide to wash your car. You aren’t wearing a lot of makeup because you know you’re going to get all sweaty and wet. Everyone is outside doing their own thing whether its cleaning their windows or arguing with their wives.

Thinking ahead you decide to wear your Christina lace-trim satin panties, your favorite old jeans, and your new Satin Gypsy top in white with pink trim. You look great and you know it.

As you begin hosing down your car you feel that people are looking at you, you hear parts of whispered conversations. You reach into the bucket of warm soapy water and start with the hood, bending over in a very sexy way and shaking your little tush. You go boy!

You’re really getting into it and as a few strands of hair fall into your face you stop and tie it back with an elastic hair band. Adjusting your lace top you take a quick look around and see that your neighbors have all stopped what they’re doing and are watching you. You can even make out some of the conversations…

“Check out Tom over there, he always looks great. Why don’t you have any cute tops like that Kenny?”

“Hey Bill, is that a Satin Gypsy top Tom is wearing? Wow-I think you should get a couple of those.”

“Lisa look over there, isn’t that the cutest top you’ve ever seen? Lets go ask Tom where he got it and what other colors it comes in.”

Well the next thing you know the women are all around you, touching your pretty blouse and discussing spring fashion. They’re mad at their husbands for not having the balls to try new things, so they have them finish washing your car while you and the girls go inside to talk about hairstyles and sun dresses.

Spring ahead with confidence. Even though the guys may seem to hate you its only because they’re jealous.

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