Living a Life of Illusion

You, like many people, are probably living a life of illusion. But do you actually use your illusion? You can when you wear this gorgeous illusion neckline dress.

While this is marketed as a wedding dress, you can wear it shopping, bowling, target shooting, golfing, or to a thousand other places. Keep in mind that even though this dress has an illusion neckline, people will still be able to see you.

Illusion Neckline Dress

Illusion Neckline Dress

Illusion Neckline Dress

Want to Win a Dozen Dresses?

Unique Vintage is giving away 12 fabulous dresses valued at nearly $1000. They have a truly amazing collection of vintage style clothing including beauties like this beaded chiffon fringe flapper dress.

Note: you can flap if you want to.

By accepting a prize in this Sweepstakes, the winner grants the right to use and publish his/her name and picture for advertising and promotional purposes. The sweepstakes ends October 31st 2016 at 11:59 p.m.

The Get Dressed Giveaway

Beaded Gigi Chiffon Fringe Flapper Dress

Beaded Gigi Chiffon Fringe Flapper Dress

Romper Room

So I’m minding my own business trying to get through today’s email, and this ad is on the sidebar. Its for Make Me Chic, featuring all kinds of pretty rompers and jumpsuits which I’ve always had a weakness for.

If you’re on Yahoo you’ve probably seen the website and I would suggest checking it out. Their prices seem very good, sizes go up to large and maybe extra large for you big guys. I’m not sure because I want to get out on my bike before the wind picks up.

The only thing that bothers me slightly with this romper is that it cost $27 and they offer free shipping for orders over $29. Maybe I’ll check out their accessories later but I must have this. Its a short convertible floral romper that’s machine washable. Perfect for just about everything except riding my motorcycle.

Note 1: There is a size guide for each item next to the description-use it.

Note 2: Its short, very short. Be aware of that and choose your panties carefully.

Convertible Floral Romper

Convertible Floral Romper

Convertible Floral Romper

The Problem With Sissies

The problem with sissies is that they rarely take good photos of themselves. Maybe its a lack of technical knowledge, but I think its probably more of being in a hurry to get their panties off and change back into non sissy mode.

Yes, I know there are some sissies that dress up and prance around all the livelong day, but I think they are the exception.

So here is a very interesting Tumblr blog I found featuring a little bit of everything. Its called Menelwena for some reason, possibly because that’s her name. Some images are NSFW but are very tasteful. Enjoy.

Menelwena.Tumblr

Rita Ora from Menelwena.Tumblr

Rita Ora from Menelwena.Tumblr

The Spring Crossdresser

You decide to go to the park to commune with nature, and celebrate another wonderful spring. Walking around very comfortably, you notice the new buds, plants and flowers that make this time of year so special.

Reaching for the phone in your purse to take a few pictures of the pretty Daffodils, you’re suddenly aware of people all around you. Mostly young women walking their dogs and a few joggers. You hear them laughing and whispering but try to focus on the flowers. Eventually, you glance over and it seems that everyone is staring at you. Now you’re not so comfortable.

Feeling a bit self conscious, you continue taking pictures and try to ignore them, but you can no longer concentrate and decide to leave. You’re angry at yourself for worrying about what other people think, might think, but reluctantly head back to your car.

A very pretty jogger is headed your way and you keep walking. Then she stops, they almost never stop. So you brace yourself, wondering what she is going to say.

She looks you up and down with the beginning of a smile, and then stares into your eyes. WHAT IS SHE THINKING, WHAT DOES SHE WANT, WHAT WILL SHE SAY, you wonder.

Then she comes right out with it; “Oh-My-God that dress is amazing! Where did you get it?”

Whether you tell her on not is up to you, but be aware that if you do pretty soon everyone might be wearing the same dress. Is that what you really want?

Note: this dress only comes in extra small, small or medium, so you might want to check out the complete Spring Flower collection.

Artista Festivity Cream Dress

Artista Festivity Cream Dress

Artista Festivity Cream Dress

He’s a rich girl, and he’s gone too far

So you’re playing poker at your house with the guys, and everyone has a story about the great sales they discovered right after the holidays.

The first guy says: “I got four pairs of the prettiest panties you’ve ever seen at Target for 40% off!” You all look at each other and say oooo, ahhhh, oooo, ahhhh.

The second guy says: “Well I went to Walmart and bought a killer maxi dress for only 15 bucks!” Once again, oooo, ahhhh, oooo, ahhhh.

The third guy says: “I went to Kmart and bought a pink babydoll nightie with padded cups for just 5 bucks!” And again, oooo, ahhhh, oooo, ahhhh.

Now its your turn. You politely excuse yourself and go into the bedroom to show them what you recently bought. Slipping it on, you wonder if you should even tell them how little you paid for it.

“Check this out boys” you say with a smile, “I got this mesh tropical print romper at The House of Rockefeller, but it wasn’t on sale.”

The three of them stare at you, their jaws drop, and they’re all thinking the same thing: “He’s a rich girl, and he’s gone too far, cause we know it don’t matter anyway. He can rely on the old man’s money, he can rely on the old man’s money.”

You don’t have to tell them you only paid $35.

The House of Rockefeller

Mesh Tropical Print Romper

Mesh Tropical Print Romper

The Dainty Rascals

Get ready to be completely blown away (not literally). Dainty Rascal is the product of Suzy Cherry and her sister. Every piece is totally unique, hand cut, and constructed specifically for you. She can make clothing in any size and welcomes your design ideas.

This is a vintage 60s sweetheart secretary dress that can be custom made to your measurements. Just one of the most amazing dresses and gowns I’ve ever seen. Custom designs currently take 4-12 weeks depending on the dress, but they do have rush options available if you need it right away.

Tip: whatever you do, do not look at the Hollywood Starlet Dressing Gown-Maribou Ostrich Feather-Silk Chiffon Sheer Robe with crystal buttons. Yes, its as gorgeous as it sounds and you will need it immediately.

DaintyRascal on Etsy

Vintage 60s Sweetheart Secretary Dress

Vintage 60s Sweetheart Secretary Dress

James and the Giant Lipstick

I’d like to tell you a true story about my friend James. This is not a fairy tale but James is indeed a fairy.

He sent me a picture of a dress he found online with the model holding what looks like a giant lipstick, and asked if I had any idea where to buy it. A quick search showed that its not actually giant but it is a rather large red lipstick purse from Pinup Girl. I’ll give you the link at the end of the post.

Red Lipstick Purse

Red Lipstick Purse

This is not really my style, but if you like attention getting accessories it may just be the perfect purse for you. Now I’d like to show you the dress which is also not really my style but very, very cute.

Cartoon Print Dress

Cartoon Print Dress

Be aware that this dress will probably not fit most men. Even though it comes in Large and Extra Large you have to be very trim and not too tall. The Extra Large is designed for a 33 inch waist and a 38 bust. So if that’s you and you like this I say go for it. Butt wait-It also comes in black.

If you buy this dress, and its a great deal at less than $50, you have to ask yourself one question. And its not do you feel lucky, although you might very well get lucky if you rock this outfit. You have to ask yourself if you’re prepared for all the attention you’re going to get from the guys.

So you may want to learn this model’s pose and have a line ready when they ask you out. Look straight at the guy, tilt your sunglasses, and say: “You talkin’ to me?” Don’t get all De Niro on him but say it in your sexiest voice, then wait for a response. You should probably practice this at home.

Cartoon Print Dress in Black

Cartoon Print Dress in Black

Cartoon Print Dress: us.shein.com

Red Lipstick Purse: www.pinupgirlclothing.com

The Unique Vintage Crossdresser

Yes its 90 degrees today, humid and sticky. It feels like one of the dog days of August, probably because it is. But August ends tomorrow and that means fall is just about here. It also means something very important to all you boys that like to dress up as girls. It means that Halloween is right around the block (not literally).

I suggest that you start thinking about it now, and I also suggest that you don’t get a cheap costume at one of those party stores. Consider buying something that you can wear again and again.

Now I know what you’re thinking, when people ask what your costume is, you don’t want to just say you’re a girl. OK then, how about an amazing outfit that you can wear again and again, that can also be considered a costume? Get ready for the most incredible collection of unique vintage dresses and clothing that you’ve ever seen. You can even choose a look based on your favorite era, the 1920’s through the 1980’s.

Picture yourself in this 1920s Style Beaded Mesh Flapper Dress. Gorgeous right? And not only does this dress come in sizes all the way to 2x, they have the matching slip that you’ll need.

Remember: Procrastination makes easy things hard, hard things harder. I understand if that confuses you.

Unique Vintage Dresses & Clothing

Beaded Mesh Flapper Dress

Beaded Mesh Flapper Dress

My Name is Barbie

Your name may or may not be Barbie, and you may or may not be able to squeeze into this dress. But it does come in large and it cost less than $18.

This dress is ideal for any yard work that involves bending over. You will probably attract a lot of attention and make new friends, maybe meet some of the neighborhood boys that have nothing to do at night.

Tip: Don’t wear really high heels with this dress and try to walk on the grass, thousands of men get badly injured each summer doing just that. Nobody will be looking at your feet anyway.

My Name is Barbie Body Con Dress

My Name is Barbie Body Con Dress

My Name is Barbie Body Con Dress

New Women’s Clothing Catalogs by Mail

Most of these are E-Catalogs with discount offers, but some like Talbots and Illusion are beautifully illustrated full color catalogs sent to your home, office or P. O. box. Unfortunately you may have to check out every one to find them.

From past experience I’ve found that if you don’t order anything you’ll probably get two at most. This is yet another reason to stock up your dresser, closet and/or secret box. Yes, I know many of you have a secret box.

This side wrap top from Illusion is a steal at $30 and is machine washable.

 Sexy Women’s Clothes & Swimsuits

Side Wrap Top

Side Wrap Top

Crossdresser Spring Fashion

For many of you, spring fashion means new panties and lipstick. But this may be the year you decide to get out more, maybe take a walk through the park after work.

Maybe you just want sexy high heels in your size, a fantastic wig, a cute satin top, or a pencil skirt.

Maybe you’re interested in a crossdressing and transgender learning center with tips on crossdressing photography, walking in heels, tucking, transgender voice feminization and much, much more.

I suggest you check out Suddenly Fem at Crossdresser.com. Picture yourself in this red hot sultry dress, perfect for walking your dog (in the park), a quick trip to the supermarket, or just sitting on your front porch watching the sunset.

Note: you’ll still need new panties and lipstick.

Suddenly Fem Hot Sultry Dress

Suddenly Fem Hot Sultry Dress

Old Christmas Trees Turned Into Sexy Lingerie?

A French company called DoYouGreen has come up with a way to make soft fabric from pine trimmings that can be used for not only lingerie, but dresses, skirts and tops.

From the DoYouGreen website: “Here is the first line of organic underwear for men and women. The line, sexy and ultra soft as silk fiber is pine. Fabric comfort cashmere, greener than cotton.”

Just think what the guys at work will say when you strut in wearing this wrap over top made from a recycled white pine tree. Then ask which of the girls wants to see your pine tree panties and bra.

Always ask first, your job may depend on it.

DoYouGreen wrap over top

DoYouGreen wrap over top

2014 Fall Fashion Trends for Crossdressers, Transvestites and Sissies

If you’ve been reading fashion magazines and are keeping up with all the pre-fall and fall trends, you’re probably very confused. But there is one fashion basic that never goes out of style -The Slut Dress.

You want a dress that’s simple, sexy and tasteful. You want a dress that tells the world who you really are. And many of you want that dress in extra large. You want, you need, the Her Name is Tasty Sexy Mini Dress from Spicy Lingerie.

The description tells you everything you need to know: “This sexy dress with criss-cross back detail will have all the men dying to get a taste of you.”

Tip 1: Make sure that a man tasting you is what you really want.

Tip 2: Consider an edible body lotion.

Tip 3: Bring extra panties in your purse.

Her Name is Tasty Sexy Mini Dress

Her Name is Tasty Sexy Mini Dress

Free Women’s Clothing Catalogs by Mail

I just received the latest copy of my Boston Proper catalog in the mail today and its fantastic. Its chock full of the newest must-have dresses and accessories for women. This is only one of many catalogs you can get absolutely free, and sent to your Post Office box, house or apartment.

There are all kinds of catalogs available, featuring everything from silk lingerie to swimsuits in every style and color you can imagine.

Some are online catalogs only with discount coupons, and others like Boston Proper are full color beautifully made hard copies.

Picture yourself poolside in this sexy Crossback Sweetheart Maillot one piece from Boston Proper.

Tip: you may have to consider laying off the pretzels and beer to fit into it, at least for the rest of the summer.

Free Women’s Clothing Catalogs by Mail

Crossback Sweetheart Maillot one piece

Crossback Sweetheart Maillot one piece

Halloween in Panties! Part-6

The Entrance.

So you’ve finally done it. You found the perfect dress, bought a wig, and had your makeup done by a friend. Plans have been made and you’re looking forward to the best Halloween you’ve ever had!

I have one more suggestion to help make this a memorable night for both you and everyone else at the square dance, parade, costume ball, or bar contest.

Its simple and easy, but I’ll bet you’ve never thought of it. Its a jacket.

A jacket you say? How can a jacket help make this night even better? Oh its not just about the jacket, its about taking it off!

There you are dressed to kill. You have on the softest, silkiest, panties and bra you could find.

Your breasts are just the right size, and make you look like a real woman.

You’ve taken the time to shave, you’re wearing silk stockings, a garter belt, and killer heels.

A friend helped you with your makeup, and you look and feel like a movie star!

Holding your pretty, little clutch, you walk in and the crowd takes a look. They can’t believe it! Is this really Johnny from shipping? Look at his hair, his makeup, his legs!

So far so good. But after all the time and effort you put in you really want to blow them away.

You smile and put down your bag. The faint smell of your perfume drifts into the room and you are now the center of attention.

Slowly, very slowly you unbuckle your jacket. Several guys offer to help you but you casually shake your head no.

There are five buttons to undo before they see the new you. As you gently open each one, more and more of your fabulous dress is revealed.

They first notice your cleavage, a gasp is heard.

Your black bra can be seen through the sheer fabric and someone drops a drink.

As you continue the crowd grows silent and all eyes are on you.

Undoing the final button you open the jacket to show off the sexiest dress they’ve ever seen.

Still smiling confidently, you take it completely off and hands reach out to help.

Another drink falls and a glass breaks. The very attractive guy in the brown sport jacket you saw when you walked in has fainted. Men are drooling without realizing it and wipe their mouth unconsciously. Women are giving you dirty looks and grinding their teeth.

Success! Now the party can begin…

Halloween in Panties!

Halloween in Panties!

Halloween in Panties! Part-5

You’ve decided that you are definitely going to dress up as a girl this Halloween, congratulations! Now the question is which dress.

There are several factors you should consider, but the most important one is to wear something you feel comfortable in. I’m not talking about physical comfort, because then you would wear sweatpants and a T-shirt. What I mean is, can you pull this look off and enjoy yourself in the outfit that you choose.

The Mirror

The Mirror

As you look into your full length mirror, ask yourself how you want to appear to your friends at the party, the boys at the bar, or the girls at the office.

Do you want to be the modern working woman in a business suit?

Maybe a party girl in a cocktail dress is more your style.

If you end up getting a costume rather than a store bought dress, do you have all the accessories?

And heels! Your heels have to be right for the outfit.

Virgin White

Virgin White

Lets start with a simple, short, white dress. This is pretty isn’t it? Are you prepared to shave completely so that your back, arms, and legs will be smooth and silky?

Are you ready to wear something this short or are you worried about it getting hard to walk later in the day?

These are things you should think about so you can concentrate on having a ball at the ball.

Simple Beauty

Simple Beauty

Here’s another very pretty white dress, but this one is a bit more classy and a little longer.

Its also tight so you may want to plan on wearing some kind of body shaper underneath, unless you’ve been working out and laying off the McDonald’s.

Leggy

Leggy

Now lets gets fancy! This pink beauty has thin straps, is longer, and will show off your beautiful legs.

You’re going to get a lot of attention in this, so remember to be polite when a cute guy asks for your phone number.

Let him write his down and put it in your purse, later you can decide whether to throw it out or not.

Even if you have no intention of ever calling, smile and say thank you as he hands it to you and squeezes your hand.

If you want to get rid of him make an excuse such as;  “I have to go powder my nose”, then give him a cute wave. If he becomes a pest after you are being so nice feel free to get angry.

You want to do this in stages. Don’t just scream:  “FUCK OFF SCUMBAG!” A lady does not do that. Unless you’re Snooki.

Busted

Busted

Have you thought about how you’ll fill your bra, and what size you want to be? Its easy to say that you want huge, firm, breasts, but that doesn’t always look good in a very tight dress.

Just as with makeup sometimes less is more. Hopefully you’ve been experimenting and your boobs are ready and waiting!

There are so many styles and types of dresses that you may want to try something new for you. Such as a strapless dress or gown.

If it fits right it won’t fall down, as much as you think it might. You can also try adhesive fashion tape. All girls worry about this, especially at their prom when they go strapless for the first time.

Get some advice from your dress shop or friends, and take a chance. If you’re really the worrying type bring a second dress in case it becomes too stressful.

Redrum!

Redrum!

Whatever outfit you finally decide on, there are a few more things to remember. Be subtle. This goes for hair, makeup, heels, and perfume. Especially perfume! Real women spend a lot of time getting their look just right.

There are also different looks for day and evening, but since this is Halloween some of this advice is not as important. For example, if you’re going as a hooker or just the average slut, go to town with your eye makeup and feel free to smell like a whorehouse.

Jewelery and accessories such as belts, scarves, and cute handbags are important in both cases.

You’ll just need a bigger bag for phone numbers if you do your homework and get all this right!

I don’t want to scare you or lead you to believe this is more complicated than it is. Put on your favorite lingerie. Pick an outfit and go have fun.

And remember, you can always ask me for help, but don’t expect me to come over. Halloween is my busy season!

PICK ONE!

PICK ONE!

Under the drier…

You and your best friend Jake are at the salon for your weekly makeover. Sitting under the hair drier in your bra and panties, you both daydream about new lingerie (Of course).

At the salon

At the salon

How about a beautiful, pink, mini waist cincher? You have the perfect dress to go with that don’t you?

Sarah Cincher

Sarah Cincher

And panties! You just can’t have too many pairs of panties right? Maybe these sheer mesh briefs…

Sheer Mesh Briefs

Sheer Mesh Briefs

Stockings! What about stockings! You can always find an occasion to wear these seamed, fishnet stockings…

Fishnet Hold up Stockings

Fishnet Hold up Stockings

That’s it girls, you can shop when you get home. Its time to finish up and meet me for lunch. We can talk about the other things you’ll need from Johanna’s Wardrobe later. Don’t forget to tip generously, you know you’ll be back!

The boys of summer

Its almost here boys! I know you’ve been exercising, eating right, and just waiting to show off your gorgeous figure. Check out these sexy, summer dresses at Nordstrom

This is a French Connection ‘Totally Tropical’ Strapless Dress. You know you want to be totally strapless, right? Only $158. There are plenty of places to get great things at more affordable prices, I just wanted to give you some inspiration. Happy shopping!

French Connection 'Totally Tropical' Strapless Dress

French Connection ‘Totally Tropical’ Strapless Dress

Dressing for pleasure-Shopping

I know some of the examples I chose were way too expensive for most people, including me. So I wanted to show you some great buys for under $100. All of these are from Nordstrom and can also be ordered online and picked up at the store. If you’re really a coward you can have them shipped to your house, apartment, or closet.

This is a Maggy London, Print Matte Jersey Shift Dress. It has 3/4 length sleeves, very cool colors, and its $98.

Maggy London Print Matte Jersey Shift Dres

Maggy London Print Matte Jersey Shift Dres

This next one is a Donna Morgan,  Printed Shift Dress. Also $98. This is very cute with a floral print and there is even a video to help you find your size. Some of these dresses do come in small sizes, so if you can’t find something in your size move on.

Donna Morgan Printed Shift Dress

Donna Morgan Printed Shift Dress

Now this one I think you’ll really like. Its a Girly 50’s style, Floral Printed Dress. It has ruffled trim along the neck, and sweet puffed sleeves. This one is $88.

Ruffled trim along the neck and sweet puffed sleeves

Ruffled trim along the neck and sweet puffed sleeves

Still over budget? How about this adorable Velvet Torch, Ruffled Lace Dress! Its a sheath dress with feminine ruffles and lace, and its only $44.

Velvet Torch Ruffled Lace Dress

Velvet Torch Ruffled Lace Dress

Now, the thing about most of these is that they have to be dry cleaned. That and the fact that they are made for Kate Moss type models so your size might not be available.

I just want you to know that for $25-$100 there are plenty of dresses out there that are comfortable, will fit you, and can be washed in the machine with your fishing and hunting gear if necessary. Be prepared to smell like tuna, turkey, or deer meat (heaven forbid!) if you are too lazy to separate.

Other great places to try are Walmart, JC Penny, Sears, Target, and Burlington Coat Factory if there’s one near you. The first few places you can order online, and Burlington doesn’t seem to care much about your personal life as long as you spend money. I’m told they are very cross dresser friendly, but don’t expect  a complete show. If they help you find your size, and don’t scream like someone from a horror movie that should be enough.

I’m just kidding, they very rarely scream like that!