Of Nurseries and Nighties

We took a ride to a local nursery today to look for seeds and Jiffy pots (not the popcorn things). If you ever want something to do on a cold winter day walking around a greenhouse is a fantastic way to spend an hour.

At the nursery

At the nursery

Looking at all the gorgeous flowers and plants made me think about spring and everything I love about it. My friend Michael was obviously thinking about the exact same thing because we looked at each other and both said: SPRING WARDROBE!

Michael likes gardening as well as prancing around his backyard in a nightgown, so this pink mesh nightie is perfect for him. This sheer nightie is sold by Carol Patterson, owner of My Sweet Mischief in Gold Coast, Australia.

The nightie is a soft nylon mesh, lined with a soft nylon knit fabric, but she can make it without the lining if you prefer it sheer. I suggest you get yours with the lining so you can have the neighbors over for coffee in the morning without feeling self conscious.

Pink mesh nightie

Pink mesh nightie

Pink mesh sheer nighty by My Sweet Mischief on Etsy

Real Men Wear Kimonos

You have some friends over to watch the Super Bowl and you just want to relax and be comfortable. But you hesitate to wear your pink babydoll nightgown and stockings because you don’t want the guys to get the wrong idea. What to do, what to do?

Consider a simple Kimono. I saw this one on Etsy and even though it may seem slightly feminine and made of silk, its considered Unisex. Slip on satin panties and a bra, put your hair up, go easy on the makeup, and you’re just one of the guys enjoying the game in a comfy robe (more or less).

Note: this one is missing the belt so make sure to keep it closed at all times. Men get easily bored during commercials and may still get the wrong idea. Remind that your Kimono is Unisex and your panties and bra are just a fashion choice.

Unisex Silk Kimono

Unisex Silk Kimono

Vintage 70’s Embroidered Silk Kimono by MTTC on Etsy

A Maid in the Living Room, a Cook in the Kitchen and a Whore in the Bedroom

It has been said that to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. Now the problem with this philosophy is that you will need a lot of different outfits. Butt wait.

Consider this absolutely stunning Tiki Orchid Apron by Dots Diner. Clearly this is perfect for cleaning the living room, protective enough to whip up a four course meal in the kitchen, and with hot pink trim and black lace its definitely sexy enough for all kinds of bedroom activity.

Whether or not you choose to be a whore is up to you, the important thing is to stand by your man. Note: some men will prefer you to kneel.

Tiki Pinup Orchid Darling Apron

Tiki Pinup Orchid Darling Apron

Tiki Pinup Orchid Darling Apron by Dotties Diner on Etsy

Photography by Lady Lux Productions

How To Wear A Pink Petticoat-A Guide For Men

Step 1: Purchase a pink petticoat and put it on. You panties do not have to match exactly, but consider complementary shades, consult a color wheel if necessary.

Step 2: Prance for at least five full minutes. This is one of the most important things you can do to break your petticoat in. Cartwheels and handstands are also helpful but may be beyond your ability. Ask your doctor if such extreme prancing is right for you.

Step 3: Take a few pictures for your friends at work and the boys at the bowling alley. Try different expressions although blowing kisses is a proven favorite with bowlers. If you have some props use them, you really can’t go wrong with cut flowers.

This gorgeous Pink Short Petticoat is available on Etsy and sold by Alison Ballard of Silly Old Seadog.

Pink Short Petticoat

Pink Short Petticoat

Pink Short Petticoat by Silly Old Seadog on Etsy

So You Want a Latex Condom Mask

This latex condom mask is perfect for covert spy operations, hiding from the paparazzi, confusing neighbors and making new friends at the bar.

Available in different color combinations and sold by Bright And Shiny Latex on Etsy for a mere $62.

Latex Condom Mask

Latex Condom Mask

Latex Condom Mask by Bright And Shiny Latex on Etsy

Harness Racing

So you want to wear a lace harness? This naughty number will stop him in his tracks (you may or may not want that). Its made with soft stretch lace, satin ribbon ties, and Venice lace accents. Stunning on its own but also beautiful as a layering piece.

This Etsy shop is called Naughty Naughty Lingerie and is owned by Terry Rebecca Gilchrist. Terry wakes up and gets ready to “be the girl who will be making your panties” and smiles…ready to change the world, one comfy sleep bra and skirted thong at a time.

Note: you can’t change the world until you change your panties.

Black Lace Harness

Black Lace Harness

Black Lace Harness by Naughty Naughty on Etsy

Sissy Maid Jobs and Professional Male Models

Let me start by saying that I have no idea if this man is a sissy or even a professional maid. The lovely Gina pictured below (possibly not his real name) is modeling a professional lockable satin french maid uniform over a four layer satin petticoat. He also has on stockings, a wig and lipstick, but he may just be helping out a friend.

My point is that all over the world women are trying to sell clothing like this, and wish they had the right man to model for them. I used to sell sissy dresses, maid uniforms and lingerie, and believe it or not I could not find the right guy to model for me and let me post his photos on my website.

I suggest you get a few cute outfits, take some quality photos and start a portfolio. Then you can take out ads on various sites like Pinterest or even in your local newspaper offering your modeling services. You can also contact online shops like this one and politely ask if they need a model. Unfortunately you may have to try on hundreds of dresses, blouses, skirts, and nightgowns and take thousands of photos until steady work comes in. Be patient.

Start with this beautiful satin french maid uniform available in 16 colors and priced at only $64. The Etsy shop is called Hand Made Petticoats and is run by Maria Ferguson, who also has gorgeous satin panties as well as a tremendous collection of handmade petticoats.

Note: at this time I don’t need another maid but send in your photos and I will consider sharing them.

Professional Satin Maid Uniform

Professional Satin Maid Uniform

Professional Satin Maid Uniform by Hand Made Petticoats on Etsy

Men’s Health and Fitness-Walk the Walk

Walking is one of the best ways to exercise, but what to wear? You really can’t go wrong with a light pink adult tutu.

Do they really make such a thing you might ask? Yes they do. These handmade tutus are tulle and ribbon and start at $45. The 15 inch is great for prancing and short trips, while the 33 inch is better for power walking and cardio workouts.

Tip: wear sensible shoes.

Light Pink Adult Tutu

Light Pink Adult Tutu

Light Pink Adult Tutu by Pia Mia Boutique on Etsy