Go Ask Teresa – Analogy

E: Do you ever feel like everything you’ve ever wanted was wrong? That you’re completely lost and have no idea where to go? Its as if you just woke up after decades, and forgot who you were. Nothing seems to really matter anymore and nothing makes any sense. You don’t feel bad but you don’t feel good. You wonder why you should even get out of bed and continue to put one foot in front of another. Do you have any idea what I’m trying to say?

Me: Sometimes I feel like I’m in a car driving down a very smooth road. Its a good, solid car, and its mine. Its familiar. I seem to know where I want to go and everything is alright. There is no traffic, and I’m not in a hurry. I don’t really have a destination in mind so I’m just driving. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is, or what season, or anything. My mind isn’t racing with other thoughts of what I want to do later, or tomorrow, or what I should have done the day, week, or year before. I’m just driving.

Other times its as if I’m in a large pickup truck. Not a new, state of the art model, but an older, slightly rusted and dented one, with old sugar packets and napkins on the floor. Its not my truck but I can drive it, so its not too bad at first. Little by little it gets worse. Traffic is crazy and the road is bumpy and I feel like I want the ride to be over. The engine starts making a funny noise and some smoke is coming from the engine. Just a little but it seems like a bad sign. I can feel the tension in my arms and body as I hold on and try to drive normally. The other drivers seem angry and in a hurry, as if it is somehow my fault. I’m getting more and more stressed out by the second and start to panic. Then the steering wheel seems to be coming loose and I really freak out. It will come right off in my hands if I don’t hold it in place with all my strength and I’ll be completely out of control. It takes everything I have just to stay focused and try to get through this, but I have no idea where I’m going and how long it will take to get there.

Then, there are times that I feel I’m on the perfect ride. Its a motorcycle. The day is warm and there is no noise at all. No one else seems to be around. The bike starts right up and purrs like a cat. A tiger. A large, strong, very confident tiger with no fear of anything. I am no longer a rider on a machine but simply riding. I can go anywhere I want at any speed without a care in the world.

I pull onto the highway and see its been completely redone. The road is perfect and there is only one line freshly painted down the middle. The road is mine. I smile. This is what my whole life has been about-getting to this point. I have the road, the bike, the world to myself and there is no way any of it could possibly be better. I just want to ride.

I find myself going very fast and look up to see I’m doing 100. Its as if I’m flying an inch or two off the ground and I want to go faster. 125-150-180…

How long will it last. How long will the ride be this flawless and complete? It doesn’t seem to matter at all.

Go Ask Teresa-Crossdressing advice, help and insight

Go Ask Teresa-Crossdressing advice, help and insight

Go Ask Teresa-Mothers

J: Dear Miss Teresa, I’d like to know how the Mother fits in to all of this. What in your experience is the connection?

Me: Well J, this is a very delicate subject. Are you sure you want to get into it? Wouldn’t you rather discuss something else? What’s your favorite kind of cheese?

J: Do you think that crossdressing is a variation on the Oedipus complex?

Me: Little known fact. Oedipus used to design very intricate birdhouses. He was one of the first to create the bird condominium, with little indoor and outdoor pools, and a tiny gym where they could work out.

J: I mean, so many stories have to do with being caught by Mom, and then dressed as one of her girls. And I think that most crossdressers began by dressing in their Mother’s clothes. Also, it seems to be a very common fantasy to be shipped off to girls school or a relative like an Aunt. Do you think this is a substitute for the Mother figure?

Me: Did you know that some ants can lift 10-50 times their body weight? Wouldn’t it be cool if they got together at night and moved peoples cars just to flip them out?

J: I think this is a very important issue, and has a lot to do with the incredible guilt that so many people deal with, don’t you?

Me: OK J, I’ll be serious. First of all, gender awareness and human sexual development begins at the age of 2 or 3. To get technical:

“In “normal” development, the Oedipus complex is resolved. The son now identifies with the father; he no longer views him as a rival. The son develops affection for, not libidinal attraction to the mother. The sexual libido directed toward the mother is sublimated and becomes non-sexual affection. The son seeks a female (sexual) partner other than the mother. Libidinal attachment to the mother is SUBLIMATED into sexual attraction for other women (substitutes).”  Sigmund Freud-Dissolution of the Oedipal Complex

Right, well what does that mean? He used to do a lot of blow so its hard to follow. Basically it means nothing, its just a theory. A theory is a guess. So what I am going to say is more or less my theory, my guess, and my opinion.

This is a hypothetical case, I know that not all crossdressers get sexually aroused from it, or have fantasies about forced feminization and humiliation.

I think that sex is one of the most confusing things in our lives. For some it comes easy (excuse the pun), but for others it takes a lifetime to figure out. For a crossdresser the feeling of first putting on women’s clothes, say a pair of panties, is a highly erotic and pleasurable experience. Soon afterwards it becomes a confusing and anxiety producing compulsion, that cannot be denied or ignored. He continues to dress up despite more and more stress and guilt.

As he reaches adolescence and begins to masturbate, his confusion is multiplied. Not only is he wearing female underwear, but he is often fantasizing about being feminized by women, and sometimes it may be his Mother. My guess is that to avoid this guilt of being aroused while thinking about her, he begins to substitute others in her role. A neighbor, the girls at school, a relative, or maybe all of them at a large party.

So to makes things more complicated, he now has a fetish to wear women’s clothes, he has fantasies about being dominated, feminized, and humiliated, and he has little if any desire for a normal sexual relationship with a woman. In a nutshell, he’s a mess!

Should I go on?

J: Is it too late to talk about cheese?

Me: Oh yes, I’m on a roll.

J: Actually Miss Teresa, everything you’ve said is right on the money. I don’t know how you could possibly know all this, but this is exactly what I went through. Exactly!

Me: OK J, let me sum it up as painlessly as I can. This may seem extreme, but being gay, or bisexual in my case, is just as confusing and stressful. When your desires and sexual preference seems wrong, you may feel like its your fault, and that something is wrong with you. There are no easy answers, and many people spend half their lives trying to be someone they’re not, and that’s if they finally figure it out! Just know that being different is not a bad thing although it will be hard, and there is help and support out there no matter what your situation. Was that any help at all?

J: I’m going to call my Mom.

Me: Me too!

Go Ask Teresa: Crossdressing advice, help and insight

Go Ask Teresa: Crossdressing advice, help and insight

Go Ask Teresa – Fear!

B: I really, really want to order your Beauty School CD Miss Teresa, but I cant risk having it sent to my house! I am so afraid of my wife finding out! I only go to your website when she’s not home, and then I clear all the history! Now she’s been asking me why I’m doing this! I have to have it-its my complete fantasy! What can I do?

Me: GET A GRIP! What are ya, a sissy? Oh yea. How old are ya kid?

B: I’ll be 47 next month.

Me: Listen kid, I have a plan. Now shut up and pay attention. First of all its a download, not an actual CD that would be sent to your house. I send it to your email, see?

B: Oh, I didn’t realize that. But my wife!

Me: SHUDDUP!

Now the first thing ya wanna do is download Firefox. You can have it clear your history every time you sign off, it even asks ya?

B: But…

Me: SHUDDUP!

Now you’re gonna get an email in another name see? They’re all free, just pick a name and remember it. If ya want, ya can write the name and password in a book that nobody reads, get it?

B: Yes Miss Teresa.

Me: You can use a credit card, or if you’re still yeller, an e-check. No traces. Then I send the file to this email that nobody knows about, see?

B: Wow you’re really good at this.

Me: Yea, I been around.

B: But what about downloading and saving the file? How can I hide it?

Me: Here’s what you’re gonna do. Ya download it when no ones around, and save it in a folder. Ya name the folder like another one, but add a letter. Then you put that folder in a different folder that never gets used, see?

B: But what if she finds it and listens?

Me: Ok, lets play it safe. Ya burn it onto a blank CD and stash it somewhere. Drive out to the dessert, get comfy and play it in your car.

B: Not bad, you’re very sneaky.

Me: Thanks kid, but I’m only helpin ya cause this stuff is harmless. So ya like to wear panties and prance around like Cinderella? Who gives a flyin rats ass?

B: My wife actually.

Me: YER A SISSY! Oh yea, that’s what this is about huh? Well, there ya go kid. Now ya can have a party in your pants. Play some pocket pool, adjust the antenna, baste the ham, badger the witness, buff the banana, cuff the carrot, flog the dolphin, milk the moose, oil the glove, rope the pony, yank the yo-yo, knock yourself out.

Just one more thing. Yer not gonna do anything illegal are ya? Anything strange or sick?

B: Oh Lord no Miss Teresa, I just want to wear pretty things and act like a beautiful girl.

Me: That’s what I figured. This conversation never took place, ya hear? Now go grow a pair.

B: Thank you Miss Teresa, but I don’t want to grow a pair because…

Me: SHUDDUP

Go Ask Teresa: Crossdressing advice, help and insight

Go Ask Teresa: Crossdressing advice, help and insight

Disclaimer: I do not normally talk like this. I am in no way encouraging anyone to do anything illegal or immoral. Its just that in my experience many crossdressers do not want their friends and family discovering their little fetish. Right Mr. Madoff?

Go Ask Teresa: Crossdressing advice, help and insight

I’ve decided to help you girls with any issues you might be having. Mental anguish, guilt, fetishes, shopping tips, whatever. Just ask!

Feel free to contact me here, and just like Jeopardy, it must be in the form of a question. NO real names will be used.

 

Go Ask Teresa: Crossdressing advice, help and insight

Go Ask Teresa: Crossdressing advice, help and insight