Base Layers

We went to the park this morning for a brisk walk, reveling in the beauty of January and breathing in the cool morning air. After about five minutes my friend announced that he’s freezing and is going back to the car.

The beauty of January

The beauty of January

Sure, it was 20 degrees, but I was dressed for the weather wearing several layers of tight, thin clothing commonly known as base layers. Most guys do not wear the right base layers to stay warm and comfortable.

A base layer should be tight fitting so it traps air next to the skin and insulates the body from the cold as demonstrated by this man. Don’t forget a warm, comfortable pair of gloves. Wig, lipstick and adorable necklace are optional but highly recommended.

Base Layers

Base Layers

Dog Empathy and Solipsism

Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. You need to show your dog that you not only love them but really understand them.

You both go for a walk and your dog is thinking about spending the rest of the day waiting for the mailman and drinking toilet water. You on the other hand, are thinking about a new Aston Martin and thirty year old scotch.

You need to make a real effort to understand how your dog feels, and that’s why they make a leather and suede two toned dog hood. Wear this when you go out for walkies and you will share the experience in a way you’ve probably never known before. Plus it blocks the wind better than an ordinary balaclava.

Note: the other dog owners may laugh at first but they will all want to pet you and ask for your paw.

Two-Toned Dog Hood

Two-Toned Dog Hood

Two-Toned Dog Hood

Solipsism is the the theory that only the self exists, with extreme preoccupation and indulgence of one’s feelings and desires.

The Parents Guide to Buying Bras

Ah, if only your Mother had this guide when you were just a little girl. But even though you’re all gown up you’re probably still wearing the wrong bra. Did you know that an estimated 85% of men wear a bra that doesn’t fit properly?

Here are important answers to important questions such as:

  • When should my daughter first be fitted?
  • Why does she need a bra?
  • What should I be looking for when choosing a first bra for my daughter?
  • What’s the difference between a padded and a moulded foam bra?
  • What type of bra should my daughter wear during PE?
  • What if my daughter is feeling shy about having a bra fitting?

Plus four great examples of the right bra for the right reason. Be sure to check out Mish Online for great bras, lingerie, swimwear, and a very easy to understand bra fitting guide.

Parents Guide to Buying Bras

Choices, choices, choices

Choices, choices, choices

The Top 3 Reasons To Shoot A Transvestite

So you invest in a new camera and lens, and decide to take some amazing photos. You study photo blogs, watch videos, and read books about light, color and composition.

But what to shoot? Sunsets? Rainbows? Yellowstone National Park? Think again.

Rangers in Yellowstone National Park recently rescued a tourist who was trying to take a photo. All he wanted to do was take a great image that he could show his friends and family. But as he tried to get the right composition, he fell backwards off a cliff and by sheer luck got wedged in a small crevice in the Grand Canyon. They said he was lucky to land where he did because he was at the top of a 200 foot drop.

He would have been better off asking the park rangers where the transvestites hung out and have them pose. Here are the top three reasons to shoot a transvestite:

  1. You will probably not fall off a cliff. Most transvestites do not like heights.
  2. One of the first things you learn about photography is to try to tell a story, it rarely gets more interesting than a man dressed as a woman.
  3. You don’t have to sit and wait hours for the perfect light. Put him in a chair and ask him to smile, all transvestites love to be photographed.

Sure, you can go the traditional route and hike for miles into the woods or mountains in the middle of the night, and wait for a perfect sunrise. But as Ansel Adams, possibly the most famous photographer of all time once said: “A good photograph is knowing where to stand.”

Every picture tells a story

Every picture tells a story

Crossdresser and Fem Dom resources including virtual makeovers, lingerie, sissy stories and assignments

I was going through the friends page on my website to check for broken links, and many of the sites listed are gone. So I’ve updated everything and I think you’ll find some unique places to visit.

For example, do you know how to make boobs? The link is right there under Blogs, Guides and Stories.

Among a wealth of information including photo galleries, transformation salons, crossdressing captions and Shibari Art Photography, are must know lingerie resources.

Do you know where to find garter belt panties? Well look carefully and you soon will.

If you do find a link that no longer works please let me know. If you have a related website or blog you would like listed contact me.

Strapped In Silk Friends Page

Crossdresser and Fem Dom resources including virtual makeovers, lingerie, sissy stories and assignments

Crossdresser and Fem Dom resources including virtual makeovers, lingerie, sissy stories and assignments

The Dominatrix Next Door

The 2013 issue of the Domination Directory International provides up-to-date listings of Professional Dominas from around the world, possibly your next door neighbor.

And if that isn’t enough you can read articles and news about dominant women and the submissive men who worship them.

Can you afford your fantasies in these challenging economic times?

Do you have the right attitude to serve a dominant woman?

Are you secure in the knowledge that you have what it takes to be the perfect sissy maid?

Is you safe word short and sweet? Or are you still using an annoying and possibly confusing one like: “OH GOD STOP IT PLEASE!”

This is why you need to do some research before you put on your panties and just show up at her door, assuming you found her door and made an appointment.

This guide is 114 glossy pages so it can be easily cleaned (that comes in handy).

Beautiful, leather clad Dommes are checking their calendar right this second to see if they have time to watch TV. You can be that TV with a little effort and determination.

Now what if you don’t have big enough balls to see a real Dominatrix who can make all your fantasies a reality? Do you give up and hide this book with your panties and nighties?

Hell no, you use it as a conversation starter. Take it to work, or on the bus or train. Women love guys that like to read.

They have no idea that you want to be dressed up as a girl, slapped silly and called Sally. For all they know you have a very socially acceptable, harmless foot fetish. Or maybe a balloon fetish. What kind of woman doesn’t love balloons?

This is a book, a directory, it’s not porn. You are simply a well educated man doing research.

At some point a beautiful young woman with large, firm breasts may sit down next to you and ask: “What ya reading honey?”

DON’T SCREW THIS UP! You want to act very shy and embarrassed (act?). Look her right in those deep blue eyes and say: “Oh nothing,” then let her take the book from you and see exactly what you’re researching.

Remember, she approached you so she is going to take charge of the conversation. A big plus if you’re a shy sissy afraid of girls.

Try this with four of five beautiful, large breasted women. If it doesn’t work out you have the Domination Directory right in the palm of your hands. Then make a few calls.

Domination Directory International

Domination Directory International

He’s a Backdoor Man

Have you read any good books lately? Something stimulating that actually made you feel special? Those books can be very hard to find, much like your G-spot.

What exactly is a G-spot you may ask? A guy’s G-Spot, also known as the P-Spot, is his prostate gland. That’s the gland responsible for producing the majority of his seminal fluid, and it’s also one of his most sensitive erogenous zones.

Sounds complicated doesn’t it? Maybe you need a book.

TA DA!

Book Smart: The Other Door

Book Smart: The Other Door

OK great, so now you have a book, butt wait….there’s more. Inside this very special book is everything you need to put your new knowledge to practical use.

This is not your average book though, it comes with training beads, a soft and pliable butt-plug (not too big and not too small), a set of anal beads, and even a packet of water-based lube.

The Other Door anal starter kit

The Other Door anal starter kit

Butt wait….there’s more. This is impressive; the book is actually the stash! It looks like a normal book, but it has a magnetic clasp and holds everything neatly and out of sight until you’re ready to learn and explore.

Ain't technology wonderful?

Ain’t technology wonderful?

Now I’d like to leave you with a final thought. Lets say you’re holding your new book and a friend comes up and asks what you’re reading. DON’T PANIC!

You don’t have to give a detailed explanation like: “Oh its a book about fucking myself and it has a dildo and lube inside.” Of course you can say that if you want to, but then shes going to want to see you in action.

Its just a book-you’re just reading a book. It may be the best book you’ve ever read, it may open up doors that you’ve been afraid to open, and it may give you hours and hours of pleasure, but feel free to keep it to yourself.

You can say something like: “Oh its a novel about doors, a very boring architectural history thing actually.”

Or you can be somewhat less creative and say something like: “NOTHING! ITS NOTHING! ITS NOT EVEN A BOOK, I MEAN, IT IS A BOOK. ITS A TERRIBLE BOOK. LEAVE ME ALONE!”

If that sounds like something you might say you need to learn to relax. Relaxation is a very big part of this.

Remember boys-Learning is FUNdamental.

Check out Book Smart: The Other Door at Strapped In Silk Bondage, Fetish & Kink Sex Toys

Go Ask Teresa-Mothers

J: Dear Miss Teresa, I’d like to know how the Mother fits in to all of this. What in your experience is the connection?

Me: Well J, this is a very delicate subject. Are you sure you want to get into it? Wouldn’t you rather discuss something else? What’s your favorite kind of cheese?

J: Do you think that crossdressing is a variation on the Oedipus complex?

Me: Little known fact. Oedipus used to design very intricate birdhouses. He was one of the first to create the bird condominium, with little indoor and outdoor pools, and a tiny gym where they could work out.

J: I mean, so many stories have to do with being caught by Mom, and then dressed as one of her girls. And I think that most crossdressers began by dressing in their Mother’s clothes. Also, it seems to be a very common fantasy to be shipped off to girls school or a relative like an Aunt. Do you think this is a substitute for the Mother figure?

Me: Did you know that some ants can lift 10-50 times their body weight? Wouldn’t it be cool if they got together at night and moved peoples cars just to flip them out?

J: I think this is a very important issue, and has a lot to do with the incredible guilt that so many people deal with, don’t you?

Me: OK J, I’ll be serious. First of all, gender awareness and human sexual development begins at the age of 2 or 3. To get technical:

“In “normal” development, the Oedipus complex is resolved. The son now identifies with the father; he no longer views him as a rival. The son develops affection for, not libidinal attraction to the mother. The sexual libido directed toward the mother is sublimated and becomes non-sexual affection. The son seeks a female (sexual) partner other than the mother. Libidinal attachment to the mother is SUBLIMATED into sexual attraction for other women (substitutes).”  Sigmund Freud-Dissolution of the Oedipal Complex

Right, well what does that mean? He used to do a lot of blow so its hard to follow. Basically it means nothing, its just a theory. A theory is a guess. So what I am going to say is more or less my theory, my guess, and my opinion.

This is a hypothetical case, I know that not all crossdressers get sexually aroused from it, or have fantasies about forced feminization and humiliation.

I think that sex is one of the most confusing things in our lives. For some it comes easy (excuse the pun), but for others it takes a lifetime to figure out. For a crossdresser the feeling of first putting on women’s clothes, say a pair of panties, is a highly erotic and pleasurable experience. Soon afterwards it becomes a confusing and anxiety producing compulsion, that cannot be denied or ignored. He continues to dress up despite more and more stress and guilt.

As he reaches adolescence and begins to masturbate, his confusion is multiplied. Not only is he wearing female underwear, but he is often fantasizing about being feminized by women, and sometimes it may be his Mother. My guess is that to avoid this guilt of being aroused while thinking about her, he begins to substitute others in her role. A neighbor, the girls at school, a relative, or maybe all of them at a large party.

So to makes things more complicated, he now has a fetish to wear women’s clothes, he has fantasies about being dominated, feminized, and humiliated, and he has little if any desire for a normal sexual relationship with a woman. In a nutshell, he’s a mess!

Should I go on?

J: Is it too late to talk about cheese?

Me: Oh yes, I’m on a roll.

J: Actually Miss Teresa, everything you’ve said is right on the money. I don’t know how you could possibly know all this, but this is exactly what I went through. Exactly!

Me: OK J, let me sum it up as painlessly as I can. This may seem extreme, but being gay, or bisexual in my case, is just as confusing and stressful. When your desires and sexual preference seems wrong, you may feel like its your fault, and that something is wrong with you. There are no easy answers, and many people spend half their lives trying to be someone they’re not, and that’s if they finally figure it out! Just know that being different is not a bad thing although it will be hard, and there is help and support out there no matter what your situation. Was that any help at all?

J: I’m going to call my Mom.

Me: Me too!

Go Ask Teresa: Crossdressing advice, help and insight

Go Ask Teresa: Crossdressing advice, help and insight

Go Ask Teresa: Crossdressing advice, help and insight

I’ve decided to help you girls with any issues you might be having. Mental anguish, guilt, fetishes, shopping tips, whatever. Just ask!

Feel free to contact me here, and just like Jeopardy, it must be in the form of a question. NO real names will be used.

 

Go Ask Teresa: Crossdressing advice, help and insight

Go Ask Teresa: Crossdressing advice, help and insight

Holding On

Bukowskigamblers all

sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think,
I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside
remembering all the times you’ve felt that way, and
you walk to the bathroom, do your toilet, see that face
in the mirror, oh my oh my oh my, but you comb your hair anyway,
get into your street clothes, feed the cats, fetch the
newspaper of horror, place it on the coffee table, kiss your
wife goodbye, and then you are backing the car out into life itself,
like millions of others you enter the arena once more.

you are on the freeway threading through traffic now,
moving both towards something and towards nothing at all as you punch
the radio on and get Mozart, which is something, and you will somehow
get through the slow days and the busy days and the dull
days and the hateful days and the rare days, all both so delightful
and so disappointing because
we are all so alike and so different.

you find the turn-off, drive through the most dangerous
part of town, feel momentarily wonderful as Mozart works
his way into your brain and slides down along your bones and
out through your shoes.

it’s been a tough fight worth fighting
as we all drive along
betting on another day.

©2001 Linda Lee Bukowski
reprinted with permission of Black Sparrow Press

The Rules of The Game

I recently found this great article online and thought it was well worth sharing.And it was written by a man!
How to Caress a Woman By Michael Castleman
This is how he starts:

Compared with men, it takes most women longer to feel warmed up enough to enjoy breast and genital fondling and intercourse. How much longer? For most women, a lot longer. “It takes me a good 20 to 30 minutes,” says Betty Dodson, Ph.D., a noted New York City sex educator. “It takes other women even longer.”

How many guys either don’t know this or don’t care?If you want to play the game you better learn the rules!

Instructions:

Step1
Kiss her. One crucial form of erotic touch that rarely gets its due in sex manuals is kissing. “A kiss,” a wit once said, “can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point.” Don’t just clamp your lips on a woman’s or thrust your tongue into her mouth. Kissing is a dance. It involves a constant interplay of lips and tongues and moist, warm breath. Brush her lips with yours. Nibble at each other’s lips. Run your tongue over her lips. Let your tongues chase each other as they dart in and out of each other’s mouths. Run your tongue over her teeth. The poet Percy Bysshe Shelley defined kissing as “soul meeting soul on lovers’ lips.” Put your soul into it.
Step2
Caress the rest of a woman, before you reach for a woman’s breasts or between her legs. Gently run your fingers through her hair. Fondle her ears, her face, neck, shoulders, arms, the small of her back, her buttocks, her sides, the backs of her knees. All these spots can feel charged with erotic sensation. Touch everywhere else first. This allows her the time she needs to warm up to sensual pleasure and feel receptive to genital explorations.
Step3
Ask her how it feels as you do touch other spots. Frame your questions carefully. It’s much easier to say that something feels good than it is to say that it feels uncomfortable or hurts. Try to frame your questions to minimize the need for the woman to say: “That hurts.” Instead of asking, “Does this feel good?” which might elicit “No, it’s uncomfortable,” try saying, “Would you prefer lighter touch here?” That way, “yes” is a request for an adjustment, and “no” means all’s well. You might also ask, “Would you prefer firmer touch here?” Or try asking, “Would you prefer me to touch you somewhere else?” Or just invite her to tell you what she enjoys by saying, “Coach me.”
Step4
Try another way to identify places a woman enjoys being caressed. Suggest that whenever she enjoys your touch, she should say “yes,” and whenever she feels discomfort, she should remain silent. It shouldn’t take long to discover all her “yes” spots and the pressure that makes her say “yes.”
Step5
Treat her nipples very gently. In pornography, the men often treat the women’s nipples roughly. They pinch and twist them, and when they suckle them, they are often not every gentle. This is a big mistake. Nipples are very sensitive, and if you treat them at all callously, the woman may get turned off, and your erotic connection may be destroyed. Be very gentle with a woman’s nipples. Caresss them lightly with your fingers, lips and tongue. Once aroused, some women enjoy somewhat firmer nipple caresses. Check in with your lover about when she likes what kind of nipple fondling.
Step6
Fondle her vulva and clitoris even more gently. In porn, the men and women say “hello,” and then almost immediately, the men are reaching between the women’s legs. A big mistake. It takes most women quite a while to become sensually aroused enough to welcome genital caresses. That’s the whole point of leisurely, playful, whole-body sensuality.

Once you’re clear that a woman is open to having her vulva caressed, treat it very gently. In porn, the men often pry open the vaginal lips as though they’re opening a Zip-loc plastic bag. Major mistake. The vaginal lips develop from the same cells that, in men, become the shaft of the ****. Do you like your shaft pinched, gouged, or treated roughly. Probably not. Be gentle with the vaginal lips. Don’t pull them apart. As women become sexually aroused, their vaginal lips part on their own.

Even worse, the men in porn often go at the clitoris like they’re scooping a fingerful of peanut butter out of the jar. Huge mistake. The clitoris has just as many touch-sensitive nerve endings as the head of the ****, but it’s much smaller, so all those nerve endings are concentrated, packed tightly together, and super-sensitive to touch. Be extremely gentle with the clitoris.
Step7
Lay the palm of your hand on the woman’s vulva and invite the woman to move in ways that give her pleasure; don’t try to open the vulva. Once her outer and inner lips part, there’s plenty of time to fondle, kiss, and lick her inner vulva and clitoris.
Step8
Tell your lover directly if you like your **** fondled shortly after the first kiss: “You know, when we make love, I’d really like it if you’d start stroking my **** early on, almost as soon as we get started.” Then, ask how much nongenital caressing your lover would like before you touch or kiss her between the legs. Better yet, make this offer: “I’m not exactly clear when you feel comfortable with me touching your vulva, so I’m not going to touch you there at all—until you take my hand and move it down there yourself.” For many women, this would be a godsend, allowing them to postpone genital play until they feel truly ready.
Step9
Know that wet doesn’t mean ready. For men, assuming that everything works as it should, erection is the first sign of sexual arousal. In women, it’s vaginal lubrication. A wet vagina does not necessarily mean the woman feels ready for intercourse. All it means is that she is beginning to become sexually aroused.

When are women ready for intercourse? That varies from woman to woman. Many women would feel deeply appreciative if men said, “I’m not exactly sure when you feel ready for intercourse, so I’m not going to go for it until you invite me in.” You might arrange a nonverbal signal, for example, she might tug on your ear lobe. Or she might say, “I’m ready now.” Do what works for you. Just remember, wet doesn’t necessarily mean ready.
Step10
Appreciate the afterglow. Finally, like kissing, afterglow rarely gets the sensual respect it deserves. Many women complain that after orgasm, men just roll over and fall asleep. Most lovers focus on the “after” when they could have more fun—and feel more sensually intimate—if they appreciated the “glow.” Try exploring the unique possibilities of post-orgasmic sensuality. Hold each other close. Kiss one another in unusual places. Try some light massage. Facial massage of the forehead, cheeks, nose and jaw can feel wonderful especially if you gaze deeply into each other’s eyes. (Don’t press on the eyes. Most people find this unpleasant.) For a final sensual touch, try cupping your palms gently over your lover’s ears. Closing off external sounds ushers the recipient into a womb-like world of breath and heartbeat. The fact is, the term “afterglow” is a misnomer. In truly sensual lovemaking, it should be called “et cetera.”