Ironing Tips For Men

The first step in successfully ironing your clothes is making sure you have the right tools for the job. The right tools include an adorable dress, stockings and high heels. Lipstick, earrings and nail polish are optional but can help you channel your inner housewife.

Rachel Boomboom (possibly not his real name) demonstrates the proper stance, its all about balance and posture.

Rachel Boomboom

Rachel Boomboom

What’s the point?

What is the point? To be honest I don’t know if there is one, but it may be about getting out of your own tiny little world and thinking about others. Now I know what you’re thinking: Yes but no. I gave a quarter to a homeless guy last month so I’m good.

OK then, I’ll give you two big reasons to consider this. There is a drawing at Ride for Kids where you can enter to win a custom motorcycle for $5. The bike is a Honda CB1100 donated by American Honda and customized by Jason Paul Michaels. A new Honda CB1100 costs about $10,000 so this one should be worth considerably more. I don’t think anyone will have a problem with you selling it if you don’t ride or would rather have the cash.

The other reason is that all proceeds from this drawing go to the Pediatric Brain Tumor Foundation to help kids. That should be more than enough.

Pictured below is a Honda CB1100 reviewed in Rider magazine. I’ve seen them in showrooms and they are truly beautiful motorcycles. Not too tall, not too heavy, and top speed is only about 120 miles per hour. But that’s more than fast enough to put in a 400 mile day and think about the point of existence. Note: even 200 miles can seem like a long day if you stop to eat, take pictures and smell the roses.

Ride for Kids Bike Drawing

Honda CB1100

Honda CB1100

Choking Your Chicken and Pretending

I think now is as good a time as any to clear this up once and for all. Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. Yes, its a koan.

Note: this is not my personal chicken, we just met this morning. Also, after close inspection I can say for sure that chickens do not have lips.

Chicken Lickin

Chicken Lickin Is Lickin Chicken

Chicken Lickin Is Lickin Chicken

A Portrait of a Crossdressing Caption Artist-The Sublime and the Ridiculous

Me: So how did you get into making crossdressing captions Arthur?

Art: Good question. I retired several years ago, and nothing I did was really satisfying. Sure, I have motorcycles, race cars and other hobbies, but I felt stressed out most of the time. One day I was coming home from a long ride, passed a little beauty salon in the middle of nowhere, and for some reason started thinking about forced feminization. That night I made my first caption. After that it became what I feel is a very creative outlet and an excellent stress reliever. What do you think?

Me: Well to be honest I think it’s a bit silly, if not completely ridiculous. What are your other hobbies?

Art: I take pictures of old cameras in the woods. Sometimes I’ll ride a hundred miles to find the right place and set everything up, then take thousands of photos. They are my interpretation of the sublime aspects of reality.

Me: Interesting. So what, in your opinion, is reality Arthur?

Art: It’s a bitch Teresa.

Me: Agreed.

The Sublime and the Ridiculous

The Sublime and the Ridiculous

The King

I was looking forward to the Flea market/craft show that was scheduled to be held today on the Columbia-Wrightsville Bridge. Due to rain it was postponed until Saturday October 15th.

With nothing to do and all day to do it, we took a ride to Lake Clarke. Lots of sailboats, kayaks and canoes out despite the weather. On the way home I noticed an interesting statue overlooking the water.

“Go back I wanna take a picture.”

“It’s just a statue Teresa. And besides, it’s private property.

“Just a statue? It’s a statue of a half naked man holding a spear (trident). And that man is a Greek God!”

Yes, yes, it’s King Neptune, but the light is bad and it’s raining. You’re really a bit obsessed with photography aren’t you?

“It’s my hobby and it gives me pleasure. Have I ever asked you why you like to dress up as a girl and prance around the house?”

“Well yes, yes you have. And I don’t prance, it’s more like……ok, I prance. Hey, after this do you want to run across the bridge naked?”

“Definitely not.”

Ten minutes and 20 pictures later we left and headed home. He was right of course, the light wasn’t good and it was just a statue. But one day down the road, when my doctor sits me down and tells me I only have 10 years left to live, I’ll probably look back on my life and wish I did more.

I’ll probably wish I took off my clothes and ran across that bridge with a good friend, not worrying about the rain or getting arrested. Its only life after all.

The King

The King

Where’s the bike shop?

So I’m riding around the back roads of Lancaster this morning looking for an old bicycle sign I remember seeing several years ago. After what seemed like an hour but was probably only 20 minutes, I finally found it. I don’t remember where it is exactly but if you want to see it just Google Weaver’s Bike Shop in Ephrata, PA.

An Amish woman on a bicycle rode by and gave me a really angry look, so I shot her (with my camera). My guess is that she was jealous that she had to pedal her old bike up and down the hills while I could do it on a motorcycle.

You can click on the thumbnail for a larger pic but you won’t be able to see her expression. Maybe that’s just how she normally looks. Maybe there’s something funny on the farm, who knows. Next time we’ll chat.

Weaver’s Bike Shop

Weaver’s Bike Shop

Are Crossdressers Real Men?

“You can’t relate to a superhero, to a superman, but you can identify with a real man who in times of crisis draws forth some extraordinary quality from within himself and triumphs but only after a struggle.” Timothy Dalton

Captian America by Margaret Harrison

Captain America by Margaret Harrison

Crossdressing, Deer, and Monkey Mind

So you’re a cross dresser. You like to wear women’s clothes and have strange fantasies about being transformed into a girl. Fine. Its not that big of a deal, to me that is.

To you it may very well be a tragedy, a disaster, a burden you have to live with for the rest of your life. You might have all kinds of issues stemming from childhood and adolescence related to your fetish, and you let those thoughts drive you crazy.

For those well adjusted, proud, self confident cross dressers and transvestites my hat is off to you. Go shave your legs.

We all have unwanted thoughts that serve a single purpose, that is to drive us crazy.

Ever since I posted that stupid deer picture and caption a little voice has been appearing in my head when I’m in a wooded area. It repeats exactly what I said at the time: They jump in front of you at 60 mph and you both die.

Yes its based on fact, that deer do jump out at times and you have to be careful, but to be reminded of that in such a taunting, dramatic way is ridiculous. And its me doing it to myself!

Maybe you have similar thoughts related to your own situation. Not about deer of course, maybe about what a terrible person you are. How sick and twisted this fetish is, and how you hate yourself for it. We all know that we can be our own worst enemy and you might be much harder on yourself than that.

Is is wrong and sick to like to wear lingerie and want a women to dress you up? Obviously I don’t think so. But really, what is so bad about it? There are worse things to be, like a murderer. But you already know that.

Maybe your mind races while you’re home alone dressing up in your favorite blouse and poodle skirt. All kinds of strange thoughts may pop into your head.

The door! Someones at the door! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Its the police! There’s a warrant out for that ticket and they’ll take me to jail in my poodle skirt! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

There’s a fire! Oh-My-God! I won’t have time to change! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

What was that noise! A car door! Relatives! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

And so on until you’re a nervous wreck. Its called monkey mind by some as well as the ego and conscience. The most interesting part about this is that its us creating the whole show! We’re arguing with ourselves which is going to be a losing battle.

The other day I purposely took a road through an area heavily populated by deer. About halfway down that voice came into my head just to piss me off. They jump in front of you at 60 mph and you both die. It got to be so nerve racking that I had to pull over and take a few deep breaths. Eventually I started the bike back up and carefully finished my ride.

The only suggestion I have is to be aware of those voices. Once you remind yourself that its your monkey mind, and that these are just thoughts, you can put things into perspective. If we listen to everything that enters our mind my bike might be sitting in my garage gathering dust and your poodle skirt might end up on a poodle!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Poodles

Poodles