There is no such thing as a common crossdresser, just as there are no common motorcyclists. People that share the same interests often have similar traits and habits, but everyone is different.
You have have tried to figure out why you like it, how it started, and if this fetish will go away. Chances are that you didn’t find any real answers.
I’ve found that sometimes a crossdressing fetish can be a defense mechanism to avoid intimacy, but what do I know?
Let me give you an example of the evolution of a crossdresser and you can see if you have anything in common.
His name is John. (Not his real name-his real name is Jerry). John began dressing up at a very young age. He didn’t know why he even tried on that first pair of panties but he knew he liked it, a lot.
As the years went by he continued dressing up in his Mothers clothes every chance he had, which was almost every day since both his parents worked full time. This lasted right up until high school when his fetish began to bother him, along with the increased risk of getting caught. The pressure of being more interested in dressing up as a girl than dating girls took its toll and he stopped for a while. But he continued to fantasize about it and masturbate to his fantasies constantly.
His fantasies changed over time from being dressed up by girls he knew to being completely feminized by neighbors, girls at school, girls at work, women in the laundry room and maybe a hundred variations. His favorites were punishment fantasies. He would be punished by being forced to dress up as a girl in a very embarrassing way. The more embarrassing the better, and soon that changed to humiliation. He wanted to be feminized, punished, embarrassed and humiliated all at the same time.
John never had a serious relationship with a woman and tried hard to avoid it because he had very little interest in straight sex. This also bothered him and caused a lot of stress, and he preferred to stay at home alone rather than go out with friends. Actually he would have liked to go out more often but he became a nervous wreck and was less and less comfortable around people.
Unfortunately this is one thing that is very common. Many crossdressers find the conflict between their fantasies and reality to be so great that they either drink, take drugs, become a sort of recluse, or all three. Its one thing to fantasize about getting caught stealing panties from a neighbor and being blackmailed into a total forced feminization, and another to actually have that come true.
As time went by John purchased and threw away his much desired feminine clothes, ending up once again feeling disturbed and depressed by the whole thing. This is also very common and is a complete waste of good, often fabulous clothes but I do understand. If a gorgeous dress and a pair of strappy 4 inch heels makes you want to curl up in a corner and cry later on its not worth it.
Now 45 years old, John satisfies his fetish by reading stories, looking though catalogs, and masturbating to his favorite fantasies. In a way he’s come to terms with it but he often wishes he had someone to share it with. He also misses female companionship and feels that he lost out on a whole other world of women, sex and love.
So far he has, but 45 is not too late to try new things. Dating at any age can be very scary and filled with as many risks as dressing up as a girl in secret, usually more. But its hard to be alone and there are tremendous rewards if you take a chance.
Is there a common crossdresser? No. Is dating, intimacy, love and sex a common fear? You bet.
You cannot win if you do not play. Write that down.