Choking Your Chicken and Pretending

I think now is as good a time as any to clear this up once and for all. Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. Yes, its a koan.

Note: this is not my personal chicken, we just met this morning. Also, after close inspection I can say for sure that chickens do not have lips.

Chicken Lickin

Chicken Lickin Is Lickin Chicken

Chicken Lickin Is Lickin Chicken

I’d rather be with an animal-What is the Law?

Now I know what you’re thinking: The law is not to go on all fours, like in that crazy movie Island of Lost Souls right? Maybe so, but not in this case.

Ohio is one of a dozen U.S. states that does not have a law banning bestiality yet. But the Ohio state Senate has unanimously approved a bill which will prohibit a person from engaging in sexual conduct with an animal.

State Senator Jim Hughes in an interview with a TV station said: “I think this is something that is sickening and perverse, and we don’t want Ohio to be the place you can come and have sex with an animal.”

Well said Jim. Just because you dress them up does not mean you can take them anywhere. Don’t quote me on that.

I'd rather be with an animal

I’d rather be with an animal

Leggy Lamb illustration by Rokku-D on DeviantArt

The Homeless Crossdresser

What better time than now to think about those less fortunate than yourself? This post was originally published August 2, 2009.

The majority of crossdressers that I’ve met have thrown out some or all of their prized collection at least once. Whether its a matter of being afraid to keep it around the house, or deciding that enough is enough and wanting to start a new life, its a waste of money and usually some really pretty stuff! The thought of throwing out expensive lingerie and pairs of gorgeous high heels gives me chills, but I do understand.

The price of a few pairs of panties, or even a closet full of dresses is meaningless compared to the anxiety and stress it may cause. I just have a couple of suggestions that might help.

Consider a mini storage unit as an alternative to just tossing all your pretty clothes away. For $50-$60 a month you can find a small one that is roomy enough to stash all your things with plenty of space left over to store bulky items from your apartment, house, or garage. You’ll have complete privacy with your own lock and in most cases 24 hour access with a code. I’ve even seen new ones lately offering the first month free.

Now lets say you decide you’re finished for good. You are never going to wear women’s clothes again. That’s it-end of story. OK, that’s fine, but please don’t just throw everything out in a flurry of enthusiasm. Why not consider giving it to someone who can really use it.

Who you say? Why the homeless of course!

Studies show there are literally millions of homeless crossdressers throughout the country who can barely afford to stay drunk, much less buy beautiful lingerie.

Just imagine the happiness you could bring to one of these people by giving them a very slightly used Victoria’s Secret bra and panty set. Their big red nose would light up like Rudolph, and their whole attitude toward life and society may even change. I feel all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it!

Do the right thing-give generously.

The Homeless Crossdresser

The Homeless Crossdresser

Go Ask Teresa – Analogy

E: Do you ever feel like everything you’ve ever wanted was wrong? That you’re completely lost and have no idea where to go? Its as if you just woke up after decades, and forgot who you were. Nothing seems to really matter anymore and nothing makes any sense. You don’t feel bad but you don’t feel good. You wonder why you should even get out of bed and continue to put one foot in front of another. Do you have any idea what I’m trying to say?

Me: Sometimes I feel like I’m in a car driving down a very smooth road. Its a good, solid car, and its mine. Its familiar. I seem to know where I want to go and everything is alright. There is no traffic, and I’m not in a hurry. I don’t really have a destination in mind so I’m just driving. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is, or what season, or anything. My mind isn’t racing with other thoughts of what I want to do later, or tomorrow, or what I should have done the day, week, or year before. I’m just driving.

Other times its as if I’m in a large pickup truck. Not a new, state of the art model, but an older, slightly rusted and dented one, with old sugar packets and napkins on the floor. Its not my truck but I can drive it, so its not too bad at first. Little by little it gets worse. Traffic is crazy and the road is bumpy and I feel like I want the ride to be over. The engine starts making a funny noise and some smoke is coming from the engine. Just a little but it seems like a bad sign. I can feel the tension in my arms and body as I hold on and try to drive normally. The other drivers seem angry and in a hurry, as if it is somehow my fault. I’m getting more and more stressed out by the second and start to panic. Then the steering wheel seems to be coming loose and I really freak out. It will come right off in my hands if I don’t hold it in place with all my strength and I’ll be completely out of control. It takes everything I have just to stay focused and try to get through this, but I have no idea where I’m going and how long it will take to get there.

Then, there are times that I feel I’m on the perfect ride. Its a motorcycle. The day is warm and there is no noise at all. No one else seems to be around. The bike starts right up and purrs like a cat. A tiger. A large, strong, very confident tiger with no fear of anything. I am no longer a rider on a machine but simply riding. I can go anywhere I want at any speed without a care in the world.

I pull onto the highway and see its been completely redone. The road is perfect and there is only one line freshly painted down the middle. The road is mine. I smile. This is what my whole life has been about-getting to this point. I have the road, the bike, the world to myself and there is no way any of it could possibly be better. I just want to ride.

I find myself going very fast and look up to see I’m doing 100. Its as if I’m flying an inch or two off the ground and I want to go faster. 125-150-180…

How long will it last. How long will the ride be this flawless and complete? It doesn’t seem to matter at all.

Go Ask Teresa-Crossdressing advice, help and insight

Go Ask Teresa-Crossdressing advice, help and insight

The Common Crossdresser

There is no such thing as a common crossdresser, just as there are no common motorcyclists. People that share the same interests often have similar traits and habits, but everyone is different.

You have have tried to figure out why you like it, how it started, and if this fetish will go away. Chances are that you didn’t find any real answers.

I’ve found that sometimes a crossdressing fetish can be a defense mechanism to avoid intimacy, but what do I know?

Let me give you an example of the evolution of a crossdresser and you can see if you have anything in common.

His name is John. (Not his real name-his real name is Jerry). John began dressing up at a very young age. He didn’t know why he even tried on that first pair of panties but he knew he liked it, a lot.

As the years went by he continued dressing up in his Mothers clothes every chance he had, which was almost every day since both his parents worked full time. This lasted right up until high school when his fetish began to bother him, along with the increased risk of getting caught. The pressure of being more interested in dressing up as a girl than dating girls took its toll and he stopped for a while. But he continued to fantasize about it and masturbate to his fantasies constantly.

His fantasies changed over time from being dressed up by girls he knew to being completely feminized by neighbors, girls at school, girls at work, women in the laundry room and maybe a hundred variations. His favorites were punishment fantasies. He would be punished by being forced to dress up as a girl in a very embarrassing way. The more embarrassing the better, and soon that changed to humiliation. He wanted to be feminized, punished, embarrassed and humiliated all at the same time.

John never had a serious relationship with a woman and tried hard to avoid it because he had very little interest in straight sex. This also bothered him and caused a lot of stress, and he preferred to stay at home alone rather than go out with friends. Actually he would have liked to go out more often but he became a nervous wreck and was less and less comfortable around people.

Unfortunately this is one thing that is very common. Many crossdressers find the conflict between their fantasies and reality to be so great that they either drink, take drugs, become a sort of recluse, or all three. Its one thing to fantasize about getting caught stealing panties from a neighbor and being blackmailed into a total forced feminization, and another to actually have that come true.

As time went by John purchased and threw away his much desired feminine clothes, ending up once again feeling disturbed and depressed by the whole thing. This is also very common and is a complete waste of good, often fabulous clothes but I do understand. If a gorgeous dress and a pair of strappy 4 inch heels makes you want to curl up in a corner and cry later on its not worth it.

Now 45 years old, John satisfies his fetish by reading stories, looking though catalogs, and masturbating to his favorite fantasies. In a way he’s come to terms with it but he often wishes he had someone to share it with. He also misses female companionship and feels that he lost out on a whole other world of women, sex and love.

So far he has, but 45 is not too late to try new things. Dating at any age can be very scary and filled with as many risks as dressing up as a girl in secret, usually more. But its hard to be alone and there are tremendous rewards if you take a chance.

Is there a common crossdresser? No. Is dating, intimacy, love and sex a common fear? You bet.

You cannot win if you do not play. Write that down.

Transvestic Fetishism-Shut up and put on your panties!

I seriously doubt it, but it may be possible that you’ve never heard the term Transvestic Fetishism. If not, its because you’re spending all your time online looking at crazy captions, outrageous stories, and possibly watching forced feminization videos.

According to Wikipedia: Transvestic fetishism is having a sexual or erotic interest in cross-dressing. It differs from cross-dressing for entertainment or other purposes that do not involve sexual arousal and is categorized as a paraphilia in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association.

Butt wait-there’s more!

Transvestic fetishism refers specifically to cross-dressing; sexual arousal in response to individual garments is fetishism. Some male transvestic fetishists collect women’s clothing, e.g. nightgowns, babydolls, slips, brassieres, and other types of nightwear, lingerie, stockings, pantyhose, shoes, and boots, items of a distinct feminine look and feel. They may dress in these feminine garments and take photographs of themselves while living out their secret fantasies.

There are two key criteria before a psychiatric diagnosis of “transvestic fetishism” is made:

1-Recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviour, involving cross-dressing.
2-This causes clinically significant distress or impairment, whether socially, at work, or elsewhere.

So now what? You have a paraphilia. DON’T LOOK IT UP. A paraphilia is more or less a fetish. Congratulations on having one of the most creative fetishes there is. I think so anyway.

“Cause significant distress” ….hmmmm. So what does that mean now? Are you a complete psycho? Should you be put in a straightjacket? Should you try to never, ever think about such things again?

Are you going to stop looking at magazine ads for bright, red lipstick and imagine it being carefully put on you while your arms are tied behind your back with silk scarves?

Are you going to stop going straight for the women’s clothing circulars to look at pictures of pretty blouses and dresses before you even read the newspaper?

Are you going to pretend that you don’t want to be caught in panties, blackmailed, then punished by being transformed completely into a beautiful, very feminine woman?

Cum now, its way too late for that. The only thing you should be concerned with is if it causes distress and trouble in your everyday life. This could be from guilt (a biggie), a partner or spouse that either doesn’t know or doesn’t get it, or the fact that whenever you see a pair of nice breasts you scream out: “I WANT TITS!”

Try to avoid that if possible. As for what to do about this complicated, bizarre, stressful situation, I have a simple suggestion.

Shut up and put on your panties!


Voices, I hear voices *

Its funny how your mind can wander, even while doing something as complicated as riding a motorcycle for three hours. The following is a small part of a conversation that I had with myself this afternoon. Fortunately it stopped after I had lunch.

Voice 1: “Dammit-I forgot my camera. I wonder if I should go back?”

Voice 2: “Are you kidding? You’ve already gone 30 miles.”

Voice 1: “It really is gorgeous out here today, life is good!”

Voice 2: “Yeah, until you hit a deer at 70, then what?”

Voice 1: “Are you going to nag me all day like this?”

Voice 2: “No. Yes. That’s what I do. Its called Monkey Mind-it never stops.”

Voice 1: “What, never? And stop that shit about the deer. I’m hungry, maybe I should pull into this 7-11 and grab a sandwich.”

Voice 2: “Well, hardly ever. No, don’t stop now.”

Voice 1: “Coffee, I want a cup of iced coffee.”

Voice 2: “Bad idea, then you’ll have to find a bathroom in 15 minutes.”

Voice 1: “This vibration feels so good. I wish I could ride naked.”

Voice 2: “Now you’re talkin!”

Naked Bike

Naked Bike

*Russ Ballard – Voices

What do women really think of your crossdressing fantasies?

The majority of women think its strange. Yes, its true. But is it really that strange? Lets explore this further shall we?

Maybe your idea of a perfect day off is to slip into some silky lingerie and a dress, paint your nails, and read a hairstyle magazine.

Is that strange? Absolutely not!

Perhaps you dream of being caught by your beautiful neighbor while you’re prancing around in her panties. She wants to teach you a lesson that you’ll remember for the rest of your life. So if dressing up as a girl is what you want-so be it.
You are shaved, perfumed, put into the sexiest lingerie you’ve ever seen, forced into a very tight dress, and taken to her beauty salon for makeup, a manicure, and a pedicure. Once completely feminized, the woman tease you to tears, take pictures, and put them on the internet for all your friends to see.

Is that strange? Hell no!

How about a sissy, slut fantasy? You are captured by a group of gorgeous, Amazon beauties and thrown into a van. Helpless to resist, you are restrained, blindfolded, and taken to a large house in the middle of nowhere.
They transform you into a total, sissy slut, and parade you around like a toy. Large, soft, breast forms fill out your blouse and your tiny skirt barely covers your red, satin panties and garter belt. Pink, fur covered handcuffs tether you to a post in the middle of the room, and a local football team cums over to show you a good time.

Is that strange? Oh on the contrary, its the Superbowl and you’re the star!

“But Miss Teresa” you may ask, “What if my girlfriend/wife is one of these women that thinks its strange? Then what?”

Uh……….Well then……….Hmmmm……….Maybe……….

Hey-How ’bout those Giants?

What I’ve learned in 3000 miles

I bought my motorcycle in late February, and began riding in March. Since then I’ve managed to put over 3000 miles on it and am having a ball. I have yet to get a speeding ticket or dump the bike, but I’m realizing that its time to take less chances and slow down a bit.

These are a few things I’ve learned:

A lot of people ride with shorts, sandals, and a t-shirt. Yes, its been very hot and its very tempting, but I try to wear my jacket with protection, long pants, gloves and a helmet every time. (I’ve been wearing sneakers lately but am buying shoes that are a compromise called Kickers, made by Shift)

People have asked me if I am hot in all that gear. So far I haven’t smacked anyone or even screamed at them, but  even a fall out of a coffee shop with beachwear could be a bloody mess so fuck em.

I’ve had several close calls with people pulling out in front of me so now I do a few things I didn’t do before. I look both ways at lights and wait a second rather than try to beat the turning cars.  I try to slow down approaching blind curves just in case. And when I do play Evel Knievel and go 80 or 90 miles per hour, I pick the roads carefully.

I was watching a young couple practice in a park the other day and suddenly the girl fell. Turns out they had just come from The Motorcycle Safety course and wanted to get in some practice. She was riding a very old, very large Honda and got overconfident. She was just shaken up but I hope they paid more attention on the second day.

Really its a matter of riding within your ability and recognizing the risk. If you are crazy enough to speed past 3 Harley’s doing 80……uh, never mind that. Yes, its dangerous. Unlike a car you are not belted in, have no big shatterproof windshield, and are riding on 2 very small tires. A sudden stop for a dog in the road or an asshole cutting across lanes at even 55 mph can be fatal.

But do I let the threat of permanent disfigurement, paralysis, broken bones, or brain injury stop me from enjoying a fantastic sport? NO! There are many things in life that are dangerous and most can be made safer with training and awareness.

AGATT!

AGATT!

Go Ask Teresa: Crossdressing advice, help and insight

I’ve decided to help you girls with any issues you might be having. Mental anguish, guilt, fetishes, shopping tips, whatever. Just ask!

Feel free to contact me here, and just like Jeopardy, it must be in the form of a question. NO real names will be used.

 

Go Ask Teresa: Crossdressing advice, help and insight

Go Ask Teresa: Crossdressing advice, help and insight

Out With The Old

The majority of crossdressers that I’ve met have thrown out some or all of their prized collection at least once. Whether its a matter of being afraid to keep it around the house, or deciding that enough is enough and wanting to start a new life, its a waste of money and usually some really pretty stuff! The thought of throwing out expensive lingerie and pairs of gorgeous high heels gives me chills, but I do understand.

The price of a few pairs of panties, or even a closet full of dresses is meaningless compared to the anxiety and stress it may cause. I just have a couple of suggestions that might help.

Consider a mini storage unit as an alternative to just tossing all your pretty clothes away. For $50-$60 a month you can find a small one that is roomy enough to stash all your things with plenty of space left over to store bulky items from your apartment, house, or garage. You’ll have complete privacy with your own lock and in most cases 24 hour access with a code. I’ve even seen new ones lately offering the first month free.

Now lets say you decide you’re finished for good. You are never going to wear women’s clothes again. That’s it-end of story. OK, that’s fine, but please don’t just throw everything out in a flurry of enthusiasm. Why not consider giving it to someone who can really use it.

Who you say? Why the homeless of course!

Studies show there are literally millions of homeless crossdressers throughout the country who can barely afford to stay drunk, much less buy beautiful lingerie.

Just imagine the happiness you could bring to one of these people by giving them a very slightly used Victoria’s Secret bra and panty set. Their big red nose would light up like Rudolph, and their whole attitude toward life and society may even change. I feel all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it!

Do the right thing-give generously.

The Homeless Crossdresser

The Homeless Crossdresser

Holding On

Bukowskigamblers all

sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think,
I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside
remembering all the times you’ve felt that way, and
you walk to the bathroom, do your toilet, see that face
in the mirror, oh my oh my oh my, but you comb your hair anyway,
get into your street clothes, feed the cats, fetch the
newspaper of horror, place it on the coffee table, kiss your
wife goodbye, and then you are backing the car out into life itself,
like millions of others you enter the arena once more.

you are on the freeway threading through traffic now,
moving both towards something and towards nothing at all as you punch
the radio on and get Mozart, which is something, and you will somehow
get through the slow days and the busy days and the dull
days and the hateful days and the rare days, all both so delightful
and so disappointing because
we are all so alike and so different.

you find the turn-off, drive through the most dangerous
part of town, feel momentarily wonderful as Mozart works
his way into your brain and slides down along your bones and
out through your shoes.

it’s been a tough fight worth fighting
as we all drive along
betting on another day.

©2001 Linda Lee Bukowski
reprinted with permission of Black Sparrow Press

Goodbye Farrah

People look at beautiful, talented women as if they are different somehow, immune to many of the problems of everyone else. Farrah was just another real person that got older and sick like we all eventually will. I have always admired her and I will miss her. She reminds me that who you are is not what you look like. So often we forget.

Goodbye Angel!
Farrah Fawcett-1970s

Merry Christmas

Jim wants a different job and Dan wants a divorce and Michelle wants bigger breasts and Tom wants to do something with his life, and Jen wants a new library and Ron wants a faster car and Steve wants a dog and Charlie wants a stereo and Billy wants a PlayStation and Mike wants a girlfriend and Tony wants a boat and Terry wants a motorcycle and a time will come when all we want is more time. And we’ll wonder if we could have done things differently.